Short Funny Rhyming Poems

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Welcome to Short Funny Rhyming Poems which brings you some and provides links to others.
Ode to Goldfish

O
Wet
Pet

Gyles Brandreth

© V4C

A wife hit her husband with a frying pan
“What was that for? said he
“I found this paper in your pocket
It’s got the name Jenny on it, see!”
“Oh that. I put a bet on a race last week
Jenny was the name of my horse” he said
Next day his wife, armed with frying pan again
Said “Now buddy you’re dead”
He said ”What now, woman..
Are you still on that moan?”
His wife said “ Yes, I bloody am!!!
And by the way, your horse is on the phone”

© V4C
Short Funny Rhyming Poems

This the most popular image with the caption

Ladies, here's the latest at IKEA
A bookcase that's 4 shelves high
Handy for keeping all those 50 Shades books
You're fond of reading...goodness knows why?

© V4C

More
Short Funny Rhyming Poems

Here's a quote from Jilly Cooper which I have versified

I think modern drugs are wonderful
Don't you?
After all, they enable a wife with pneumonia
To nurse her husband through man flu

© V4C

You're probably like me
(Not one to make a fuss)
But I can't stand it when a sentence doesn't end
The way I think it octopus

© V4C
Short Funny Rhyming Poems

My Granddad died peacefully in his sleep 
After a night out at the bar
 Not SCREAMING!!!!! 
Like the passengers in his car

© V4C

A 62 year old man was celebrating 
With his wife, on the town 
They'd had 40 years of married life 
With barely a raised word or frown

A fairy appeared and offered the man a wish 
Disloyally he said "I'd like a wife 30 years younger than me"
In a flash, he was 92 years old 
Fairies are female and stick together, you see

© V4C

"Doctor this diet I'm on
 It aggravates me so
 Yesterday I bit someones ear off."
"That's too many calories! You should have bit off his toe"

Jon Bratton 2010

© V4C

I stare at all the breasts
 Not to mention curvaceous thighs 
In the communal shower room 
I have misbehaving eyes

That little blonde
 I bet goes like a rabbit 
As Mother Superior
 I must get out of this habit

© V4C

There are funny poems all over this website relating to specific categories, examples: Birthdays, Christmas, Red Hat Society etc
Here are some of my favorite funny rhyming poems which are very short

Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker

Ogden Nash

© V4C

How Long Have Fleas Been Around

Adam
Had 'em

© V4C

When you use shampoo in the shower
Letting it run down your body's not great
It was made for "Extra Body and Volume"
No wonder you're putting on weight

Always use detergent in the shower
And see your weight improve
Because it Dissolves Fat That Is
Difficult to Remove

© V4C

Work for a cause
Never applause
Make kindness your style
Cause people to smile

© V4C

Click to see lots more Funny Poems on my blog. And for some more from my blog, click here Short Funny Rhyming Poems About Getting Old

If you are sensitive, don't click on the links to the ones indicated to be naughty, though they are probably acceptable to most people. You can decide whether you are more sensitive than most people

He-he-here's All Our Funny Ho-ho-hoard

Funny Rude Poems Funny Sexy Poems Funny Sexy Limericks
Funny Poems Submitted by Visitors Humorous Love Poems
Short Funny Rhyming Poems Funny Sexy Quotes
Funny 50th Birthday Poem Funny 50th Birthday Quotes Over the Hill Poems Poem on Age Unique Birthday Wishes Funny Christmas Quotes Funny Leaving Poems

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Fair and Proper Use

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Crafter

Private Individual

Charity

you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week)

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