Short Funny Rhyming Poems
but, first...
Welcome
Everyone
I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you
Jon Bratton
Welcome to Short Funny Rhyming Poems which brings you some and provides links to others.
Ode to Goldfish
O
Wet
Pet
Gyles Brandreth
© V4C
A wife hit her husband with a frying pan
“What was that for? said he
“I found this paper in your pocket
It’s got the name Jenny on it, see!”
“Oh that. I put a bet on a race last week
Jenny was the name of my horse” he said
Next day his wife, armed with frying pan again
Said “Now buddy you’re dead”
He said ”What now, woman..
Are you still on that moan?”
His wife said “ Yes, I bloody am!!!
And by the way, your horse is on the phone”
Jon Bratton © 2012
© V4C
Short Funny Rhyming Poems
This the most popular image with the caption
Ladies, here's the latest at IKEA
A bookcase that's 4 shelves high
Handy for keeping all those 50 Shades books
You're fond of reading...goodness knows why?
Jon Bratton © 2012
© V4C
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Short Funny Rhyming Poems
Here's a quote from Jilly Cooper which I have versified
I think modern drugs are wonderful
Don't you?
After all, they enable a wife with pneumonia
To nurse her husband through man flu
Jon Bratton © 2012
© V4C
You're probably like me
(Not one to make a fuss)
But I can't stand it when a sentence doesn't end
The way I think it octopus
Jon Bratton © 2012
© V4C
Short Funny Rhyming Poems
My Granddad died peacefully in his sleep
After a night out at the bar
Not SCREAMING!!!!!
Like the passengers in his car
Jon Bratton © 2010
© V4C
A 62 year old man was celebrating
With his wife, on the town
They'd had 40 years of married life
With barely a raised word or frown
A fairy appeared and offered the man a wish
Disloyally he said "I'd like a wife 30 years younger than me"
In a flash, he was 92 years old
Fairies are female and stick together, you see
Jon Bratton © 2010
© V4C
"Doctor this diet I'm on
It aggravates me so
Yesterday I bit someones ear off."
"That's too many calories! You should have bit off his toe"
Jon Bratton 2010
© V4C
I stare at all the breasts
Not to mention curvaceous thighs
In the communal shower room
I have misbehaving eyes
That little blonde
I bet goes like a rabbit
As Mother Superior
I must get out of this habit
Jon Bratton © 2010
© V4C
There are funny poems all over this website relating to specific categories, examples: Birthdays, Christmas, Red Hat Society etc
Here are some of my favorite funny rhyming poems which are very short
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker
Ogden Nash
© V4C
How Long Have Fleas Been Around
Adam
Had 'em
© V4C
When you use shampoo in the shower
Letting it run down your body's not great
It was made for "Extra Body and Volume"
No wonder you're putting on weight
Always use detergent in the shower
And see your weight improve
Because it Dissolves Fat That Is
Difficult to Remove
Jon Bratton © 2011
© V4C
Work for a cause
Never applause
Make kindness your style
Cause people to smile
Jon Bratton © 2012
© V4C
Click to see lots more Funny Poems on my blog. And for some more from my blog, click here Short Funny Rhyming Poems About Getting Old
If you are sensitive, don't click on the links to the ones indicated to be naughty, though they are probably acceptable to most people. You can decide whether you are more sensitive than most people
He-he-here's All Our Funny Ho-ho-hoard
Funny Rude Poems Funny Sexy Poems Funny Sexy Limericks
Funny Poems Submitted by Visitors Humorous Love Poems
Short Funny Rhyming PoemsFunny Sexy Quotes
Funny 50th Birthday Poem Funny 50th Birthday Quotes Over the Hill Poems Poem on Age Unique Birthday Wishes Funny Christmas Quotes Funny Leaving Poems
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Fair and Proper Use
If you are a
Crafter
Private Individual
Charity
you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week)
©
V4C
write for the occasion
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