Funny Poems Quotes
by Hairy by z lesiak
(england)
This uses every short word I can think of that rhymes with "itch"
I'll tell you my dark secret
If you promise not to snitch.
I have a hairy a**hole
through some genetic glitch.
I have a hairy a**hole,
It makes my buttocks twitch
and when its hot and sweaty,
It makes my b*ll*cks itch
Yes if you have a hairy a**hole
Life can be a bitch -
Perhaps I’d have it shaved or waxed
if only I was rich.
I must admit its ugly
like a hairy Dunmow flitch
Though looks are less important
Than a flow rate like a ditch.
And its MY hairy a**hole
and works without a hitch
its even great for sweeping floors,
cos I’m just a shortarse titch.
Proud of my hairy a**hole
Across the football pitch
When England's playing at Wembley
I'll run without a stitch.
And so I say to you my friend
Be grateful for what God may send
A baldy bum or hairy end
Is yours to keep and not amend
If I had the choice of which,
I know I wouldn't really switch.
Webmaster: Very good...here's another 'itch' rhyme
My hairy a**hole's handy
At Hogwarts School For Wizard and Witch
With my broomstick firmly wedged up there
Both hands are free to play Quidditch
Funny Poems Quotes
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Funny Church Bulletins
by peter
(uk)
ENJOY - CHURCH BULLETINS?
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference
includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks
on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale...
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help..
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--Funny Poems Quotes--
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -
prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--Funny Poems Quotes--
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
----------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge – Up yours.
--Funny Poems Quotes--
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long haired girl
by niamh kenny
(kilkenny ireland)
There once was a girl with long hair
She was happy and hadn't a care
Until one day she sat
On top of a cat
And jumped fifteen feet in the air
Webmaster: This is a very silly limerick
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funny poem
by Makayla
(Columbus, Wi, Columbia )
Webmaster says "I hope this means more to you than it does to me
I'm a Miller, too
but I'm not married to you
I want a just like you
how about you?
Funny Poems Quotes
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friendship is the best
by robert sambou
(Banjul The Gambia)
twenty frogs go to school
down beside a roster pool
not one dot was in the lot
not one lesson they forgot
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