Jon Bratton's

Old Age Birthday Poems, Quotes

but, first...

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

First Old Age Birthday Poem

You’re such a special person
I’m so glad I’m close to you.
You’re a person in my life
Who knows me through and through.

The time that we spend talking,
I've always felt you heard
You've been so good at listening
To each and every word.

And even things I didn't share,
You somehow heard them too.
I think this is a special gift
That is so very you.

Have a wonderful birthday

© V4C
old age birthday

Most old age material, even seriously written stuff, concentrates on the ravages of old age but it is presented in a light hearted way much like slipping on a banana skin or a stubbing of the toe. As a wrinkly myself I make no apology for this page being full of this kind of humorous ribbing material, which I call wrinkinsults. Here's a ditty by me, but based on a concept of Bob Monkhouse

What's wrong with mature sex?
Geriatric touchy feelly
I still enjoy sex at 75
I just live at 76... so it's no distance, really

However, I know that many people, from a generation down, come looking for deferential material to venerate an older relative or friend on their birthday so there is a sweet section, which this example illustrates

It's taken many years 

And many miles

So enjoy those well earned

'Antique Smiles'

 Trawl down till you come to the old lady in sunglasses and that section ends with the old man in his armchair

old age birthday poems, verses

Hope your (86th) has in store
Happy thoughts that overflow
With all you’re wishing for
And hope the coming year brings
A million happy wonderful things
© V4C
old age birthday

You’re the silver lining of a cloudy day.
Someone I rely on when clouds blow my way.
Your love, hugs and kisses
Will be stored in my heart always.

© V4C

As a white candle
In a holy place,
So is the beauty
Of your mature face.

© V4C

On your (81st) birthday today
Remembering you in the fondest way
Wishing you a wonderful time
Here's hoping your birthday is sublime

© V4C

Your (78) years of living have been 
A great blessing to family, and friends too, 
And our lives are all enriched 
Because we know and love you. 

© V4C

Have the best birthday you have had in your long life. 
You are an amazing (82)-year-old.

© V4C
old age birthday

Here’s wishing you a great (73rd)
Full of all the things that you 
Are still wanting to experience
Still wishing to do

Have fun with the next rest of your life.

© V4C

This card is sent to you
To wish a happy (68th), and good luck too
May your good health thread never sever
And may you continue to flourish...forever

© V4C

My (78th) Birthday wish for you
Is for your best year yet
A year where wants are very few,
But what you want, you get.
Have a wondrous birthday and year to come

© V4C
old age birthday

Its hard to find a birthday greeting,
Nice enough to send to you,
For you're so very special
That the usual ones won't do 

But this one seems just perfect,
For it really makes it clear
That you're close in thought,
Not now and then,
But all throughout the year!

© V4C

A wonderful special day
Your (84th) birthday will be
A day full of cards and wishes
From your friends and family
© V4C

Some may say you're old
But they’re wrong, by far
You're like a spring chicken
Despite the ripe old age you are

© V4C

You didn't start getting wrinkles until

You were what? say 62

So really, when you think about it, 

They're now the youngest part of you

It's taken many years 

And many miles

So enjoy those well earned

'Antique Smiles'

Happy Birthday

You twinkly wrinkly

© V4C
old age birthday verses


Here's Loundon Wainwright III singing "I Remember Sex" which he recorded as a duo with Barry Humphries (better known as Dame Edna Everage

I remember sex. That thing we used to do
Where you'd lay down and usually I'd lie on top of you
Sometimes you'd lie on top of me. We tried that out a bit
But it didn't work as well, I guess something just didn't fit

I remember sex. We had it at night
A few times in the morning and then after we would fight
And on special occasions when we'd had too much to drink
Once in a Morris Minor (?), a convertible, I think

I remember sex. It was such a big deal
That we worried where it would come from much more than our next meal
And we were always hungry, often we overate
It was up and down and back and forth and hurry up and wait

I remember sex. And when we went to bed
Sometimes we didn't sleep at all - we just had sex instead
And having it was heavenly, not getting it - pure hell
And it was either great or bad, few did it merely well

I remember sex. And how it made us feel
Completely realistic yet totally surreal
A thing that we all thought about and all that we thought of
That distant crazy cousin to the scary thing called love

I remember sex. I started on my own
When you and I stopped having it, I tried it on the phone
But that was so expensive and sex is just a crutch
And since I kicked the habit I don't think about it much... but...

I remember sex. Something that we did
And we always used to worry we'd end up with a kid
Then we'd have to get rid of it or else we'd have to wed
These days sex can kill ya, kids, so stay awake in bed

© V4C

Old Age Birthday Poems

There's heaps more wrinkinsulting Old Age Birthday verses on this site. Here's a few tasters

...But now over the hill, we're kept alive

By bypass, transplant, potion and pill

We're fond of the young kids of today

Just not on our side of the hill

From my 
Over the Hill Poems page

You might as well now face the truth.

You're a bit too long in the tooth.

You're decrepit, doddery, and very weak-kneed

Wilting and going to seed.

"Old age is golden", is a proverb you doubt,

Since for bed, your teeth must come out

Removing hearing aid and specs is a bind

Dreaming ain't fun when gummy, deaf, and blind

But never mind that foot in the grave.

Your birthday's no time to behave 

Your get-up-and-go should get up today

And 'a gogo' the whole day away

From my  Poem on Age page

Oh you’ve still got the body of a god

But here’s a thought to make you shudder

You might think you’re now like Zeus

But you'll soon be more like Buddha?

From my 30th Birthday Poems page

Getting lucky is finding your car

In a crowded parking lot

You have hair in your ears

But on your head, sadly not

Clues that you’re ageing

Come in fits and starts

You regret certain reversals

Like dry dreams and wet farts

From my 40th Birthday Poems page

Now that you've turned 50

You're stunning, well-coiffed and smart

On the negative side, there's definite signs
hat you're slowly falling apart

From my 50th Birthday (Women) Poems page

You’re at the big (Four)(Five)(Six)(Seven)-O,
It’s no good saying oh no!
Face it, gravity is winning
Dragging down bits from head to toe.

But hey, here’s how to look young
It’s the eternal joke
Just hang about with 60 year olds
Or better yet, even older folk

Happy Birthday!

From my 50th Birthday Poems page

Don't think of 60 as ten years older than 50. 

Think of it as only 1 year older than 59

Go ahead, as it's your birthday

Delusion, today, is just fine

It's a good employ

From my 60th Birthday Poems page

Being awake past 9 pm

Is you staying up late

You're well past your Best Before

And sexpiration date

You tend to say "nowadays"

More often than you should

And it now takes you twice as long

To look half as good

From my 70th Birthday Poems page

If your body seems to be deteriorating

And showing signs immortality's gone

Adopt the wartime spirit

Keep Calm and Carry On

From my 80th-100th Birthday Poems page

You've had a long working life

As everyone knows 

You can now do nothing at all

And then have a doze

From my Retirement Poems page

Looking for my wallet and my car keys

Well they can’t have gone too far;

And just as soon as I find my glasses

I’m sure I’ll see just where they are.

From My Blog

* Old Age Birthday Verses*

The Backside Starts To Sag And Droop

The Boobs Not As Firm As Before

The Thighs Expand, The Waist Doth Spread

And You Cant Touch Your Toes Any More

But Take Heart And Look Forward To NHS Specs, 

False Teeth And Rickety Bones

The Migraines, Arthritis, Cystitis And Cramp
And Death Of Your Hormogenous Zones

By Sue from Saddleworth

Old Age Birthday Poems

  My brain cells have left on vacation
My forehead is getting too high
My hair ends up in the basin
And the years just keep flying by

I’ve noticed a whole lot of wrinkles
Where once none used to be
I’m sure that I’ve gotten much shorter
And my boobs will soon hit my knees

By Kathy Holler

Part of Song by Golf Brooks

With searching eyes I look around
For something I can’t find
And I wonder just what it was
That ever crossed my mind

Senior moments, brain farts

From my Old Age Birthday Poems page

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