but, first...
Welcome
Everyone
I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you
Jon Bratton
First Old Age Birthday Poem
You’re such a special person
I’m so glad I’m close to you.
You’re a person in my life
Who knows me through and through.
The time that we spend talking,
I've always felt you heard
You've been so good at listening
To each and every word.
And even things I didn't share,
You somehow heard them too.
I think this is a special gift
That is so very you.
Have a wonderful birthday
© V4C
old age birthday
Most old age material, even seriously written stuff, concentrates on the ravages of old age but it is presented in a light hearted way much like slipping on a banana skin or a stubbing of the toe. As a wrinkly myself I make no apology for this page being full of this kind of humorous ribbing material, which I call wrinkinsults. Here's a ditty by me, but based on a concept of Bob Monkhouse
What's wrong with mature sex?
Geriatric touchy feelly
I still enjoy sex at 75
I just live at 76... so it's no distance, really
However, I know that many people, from a generation down, come looking for deferential material to venerate an older relative or friend on their birthday so there is a sweet section, which this example illustrates
It's taken many years
And many miles
So enjoy those well earned
'Antique Smiles'
Trawl down till you come to the old lady in sunglasses and that section ends with the old man in his armchair
Hope your (86th) has in store
Happy thoughts that overflow
With all you’re wishing for
And hope the coming year brings
A million happy wonderful things
© V4C
old age birthday
You’re the silver lining of a cloudy day.
Someone I rely on when clouds blow my way.
Your love, hugs and kisses
Will be stored in my heart always.
© V4C
As a white candle
In a holy place,
So is the beauty
Of your mature face.
© V4C
On your (81st) birthday today
Remembering you in the fondest way
Wishing you a wonderful time
Here's hoping your birthday is sublime
© V4C
Your (78) years of living have been
A great blessing to family, and friends too,
And our lives are all enriched
Because we know and love you.
© V4C
Have the best birthday you have had in your long life.
You are an amazing (82)-year-old.
© V4C
old age birthday
Here’s wishing you a great (73rd)
Full of all the things that you
Are still wanting to experience
Still wishing to do
Have fun with the next rest of your life.
© V4C
This card is sent to you
To wish a happy (68th), and good luck too
May your good health thread never sever
And may you continue to flourish...forever
© V4C
My (78th) Birthday wish for you
Is for your best year yet
A year where wants are very few,
But what you want, you get.
Have a wondrous birthday and year to come
© V4C
old age birthday
Its hard to find a birthday greeting,
Nice enough to send to you,
For you're so very special
That the usual ones won't do
But this one seems just perfect,
For it really makes it clear
That you're close in thought,
Not now and then,
But all throughout the year!
© V4C
A wonderful special day
Your (84th) birthday will be
A day full of cards and wishes
From your friends and family
© V4C
Some may say you're old
But they’re wrong, by far
You're like a spring chicken
Despite the ripe old age you are
© V4C
You didn't start getting wrinkles until
You were what? say 62
So really, when you think about it,
They're now the youngest part of you
It's taken many years
And many miles
So enjoy those well earned
'Antique Smiles'
Happy Birthday
You twinkly wrinkly
© V4C
old age birthday verses
Here's Loundon Wainwright III singing "I Remember Sex" which he recorded as a duo with Barry Humphries (better known as Dame Edna Everage
I remember sex. That thing we used to do
Where you'd lay down and usually I'd lie on top of you
Sometimes you'd lie on top of me. We tried that out a bit
But it didn't work as well, I guess something just didn't fit
I remember sex. We had it at night
A few times in the morning and then after we would fight
And on special occasions when we'd had too much to drink
Once in a Morris Minor (?), a convertible, I think
I remember sex. It was such a big deal
That we worried where it would come from much more than our next meal
And we were always hungry, often we overate
It was up and down and back and forth and hurry up and wait
I remember sex. And when we went to bed
Sometimes we didn't sleep at all - we just had sex instead
And having it was heavenly, not getting it - pure hell
And it was either great or bad, few did it merely well
I remember sex. And how it made us feel
Completely realistic yet totally surreal
A thing that we all thought about and all that we thought of
That distant crazy cousin to the scary thing called love
I remember sex. I started on my own
When you and I stopped having it, I tried it on the phone
But that was so expensive and sex is just a crutch
And since I kicked the habit I don't think about it much... but...
I remember sex. Something that we did
And we always used to worry we'd end up with a kid
Then we'd have to get rid of it or else we'd have to wed
These days sex can kill ya, kids, so stay awake in bed
© V4C
Old Age Birthday Poems
There's heaps more wrinkinsulting Old Age Birthday verses on this site. Here's a few tasters
...But now over the hill, we're kept alive
By bypass, transplant, potion and pill
We're fond of the young kids of today
Just not on our side of the hill
From my
Over the Hill Poems page
You might as well now face the truth.
You're a bit too long in the tooth.
You're decrepit, doddery, and very weak-kneed
Wilting and going to seed.
"Old age is golden", is a proverb you doubt,
Since for bed, your teeth must come out
Removing hearing aid and specs is a bind
Dreaming ain't fun when gummy, deaf, and blind
But never mind that foot in the grave.
Your birthday's no time to behave
Your get-up-and-go should get up today
And 'a gogo' the whole day away
From my Poem on Age page
Oh you’ve still got the body of a god
But here’s a thought to make you shudder
You might think you’re now like Zeus
But you'll soon be more like Buddha?
From my 30th Birthday Poems page
Getting lucky is finding your car
In a crowded parking lot
You have hair in your ears
But on your head, sadly not
Clues that you’re ageing
Come in fits and starts
You regret certain reversals
Like dry dreams and wet farts
From my 40th Birthday Poems page
Now that you've turned 50
You're stunning, well-coiffed and smart
On the negative side, there's definite signs
T
hat you're slowly falling apart
From my 50th Birthday (Women) Poems page
You’re at the big (Four)(Five)(Six)(Seven)-O,
It’s no good saying oh no!
Face it, gravity is winning
Dragging down bits from head to toe.
But hey, here’s how to look young
It’s the eternal secret...no joke
Just hang about with 60 year olds
Or better yet, even older folk
Happy Birthday!
From my 50th Birthday Poems page
Don't think of 60 as ten years older than 50.
Think of it as only 1 year older than 59
Go ahead, as it's your birthday
Delusion, today, is just fine
Enjoy
It's a good employ
From my 60th Birthday Poems page
Being awake past 9 pm
Is you staying up late
You're well past your Best Before
And sexpiration date
You tend to say "nowadays"
More often than you should
And it now takes you twice as long
To look half as good
From my 70th Birthday Poems page
If your body seems to be deteriorating
And showing signs immortality's gone
Adopt the wartime spirit
Keep Calm and Carry On
From my 80th-100th Birthday Poems page
You've had a long working life
As everyone knows
You can now do nothing at all
And then have a doze
From my Retirement Poems page
Looking for my wallet and my car keys
Well they can’t have gone too far;
And just as soon as I find my glasses
I’m sure I’ll see just where they are.
From My Blog
* Old Age Birthday Verses*
The Backside Starts To Sag And Droop
The Boobs Not As Firm As Before
The Thighs Expand, The Waist Doth Spread
And You Cant Touch Your Toes Any More
But Take Heart And Look Forward To NHS Specs,
False Teeth And Rickety Bones
The Migraines, Arthritis, Cystitis And Cramp
And Death Of Your Hormogenous Zones
By Sue from Saddleworth
Wrinkinsulting
Old Age Birthday Poems
My brain cells have left on vacation
My forehead is getting too high
My hair ends up in the basin
And the years just keep flying by
I’ve noticed a whole lot of wrinkles
Where once none used to be
I’m sure that I’ve gotten much shorter
And my boobs will soon hit my knees
By Kathy Holler
Part of Song by Golf Brooks
With searching eyes I look around
For something I can’t find
And I wonder just what it was
That ever crossed my mind
Senior moments, brain farts
From my Old Age Birthday Poems page
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you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week)
©
V4C
write for the occasion
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