I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you
Poem on Age
Old age really doesn't matter,
Except if you're a wine or cheese.
And you have a shuffle, hearing and memory loss
Hairy big ears and a chest prone to wheeze
On the other hand, you have experience and wisdom
Which took a long time to obtain
So, naturally, you put it to regular good use
To moan, criticize and complain
My Ageless Friend
Jon Bratton 2012
Young once, you’re now
Over the hill.
Father Time can’t be bribed
To make him stand still.
His hour glass
Can't be turned around.
But there’s plenty yet sand
Not trickled down.
On your (68th) birthday
Enjoy a good bop
It’ll keep that sand
Stay up top
Jon Bratton © 2012
There are poems and lyrics out there which, with adaption, lend themselves nicely to being age insults for a card or a speech. Here's one I have compiled using an Author Unknown poem and Eric Idle's lyrics to the theme song "One Foot in the Grave"
(Dave) your youth has long since been spent
Your up-and-go, got up and went
At least you're still able to grin
About all your past moments of sin!
You might as well now face the truth.
You're a bit too long in the tooth.
You're decrepit, doddery, and very weak-kneed
Wilting and going to seed.
When you were young your slippers were red,
You could kick your heels over your head:
Now you're old your slippers are black,
A short walk has you panting the way back.
"Old age is golden", is a proverb you doubt,
Since for bed, your teeth must come out
Removing hearing aid and specs is a bind
Dreaming ain't fun when gummy, deaf, and blind
Let's face it, you're in the 'deteriorate' state
And well beyond your own sell-by date.
You're no spring chicken, that's true.
Why, you pop in your teeth just to chew.
You've gone over the hill since you retired.
You're fading away, but not expired.
You're clapped out, rundown, too old to save
You've got more than a foot in the grave.
Your old knees have started to knock.
You've got too many miles on the clock.
You're wrinkly and crinkly, and set in your ways.
Frankly, (Dave) you've seen better days.
But never mind that foot in the grave.
Your birthday's no time to behave
Your get-up-and-go should get up today
And 'a gogo' the whole day away
Enjoy your (65th) Birthday... ..
with as much gusto as you can musto
(You have to be old to know 'a gogo')
Jon Bratton © 2011
(Based loosely on others' sentiments, but skillfully woven with wordsmith mastery)
If you've not found the perfect verse for you
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..write for the occasion
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