Jon Bratton's

Men Birthday Verses Poems

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Welcome to our free online printable Men Birthday Verses Poems page, which brings you verses, poems, greetings, wishes, quotes, sayings, messages for men's birthday greetings cards, speeches, tributes, scrolls.


These are personalized poems written for specific people but they may be used as a source of inspiration

If you want poems for a man with a sport as the theme go here



ACCIDENT PRONE / PRACTICAL JOKER / TOWN CRIER / SWALLOWED A WASP

Johnny Burton - accident prone
Always on the go
It really is amazing
You've reached the big Four - O

You once took up cycling
But this is what I think
The loft's no place to ride a bike
When you've had a few to drink

And clambering up on a bench
Is a skill you haven't mastered
You had to hobble round with a broken heel
But then... you're often plastered! 

And Dad, if there's one thing
That really should not be kissed
It's a wasp out on the bevvy
They're dead narky when they're pissed 

Your great sense of humour
Can be a bit unfair
For 9 long years those nurses
Have been searching for your hair 

Remember when our kitchen
Suddenly sprang a "leek"
And those poor Windsor monkeys
Were on the bog for a week!

But Dad, I wouldn't change a thing
Not in any way
Your're the greatest ... and I love you
Oh Ye..Oh Ye...Oh Ye...

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems


WIFE CALLED KAZ / DOG ZAK / 10 PIN BOWLER / FALLS ASLEEP IN LOO

8th August '58
Is a day that couldn't be finer
You couldn't wait to grow up
Straight from minor to miner

Then you married a lovely lass called KAZ
For better or for worse
You must love her cos you gave your dog
Her name in reverse

And now you're a hubby, docker and dad
A man of many roles
Some would say "Player of the Year"
But they're just talking bowls!

You find time to visit the Biack Horse
And the Arms for a pint or two
And when it's time to have a kip
You just pop into the loo ---

Let's face it now you're very old
But still my little lamb
Have a really smashing 40th
with lots of love from Mam

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

As said, these are personalized poems / verses written for specific people but they may be used as a source of inspiration by those of you seeking a poem for someone with similar hobbies, pastimes, habits, traits and characteristics





More
Men Birthday Verses Poems


ACCIDENT PRONE / FOOTY FAN / CAR BROKE DOWN ON WAY TO CAR MAINTENANCE CLASSES / OPEN UNIVERSITY MATURE GRADUATE

Your'e a forty year old footy fan
Bur at your age it's a joke
Your'e too old to play a young man's game
Your'e a weak wristed bloke.

Footballs took it's toll on you
A 3 times broken wrist
And as a supporter of the Red & Whites
Your'e a Sado Masochist

You started in the shipyards
Welding bottoms and parts
You're now a family man turned Bachelor
-------- a Bachelor of Arts

Tinkering about with the family car
Grabs much of your attention
If on the way to class you'd only checked
The state of your suspension

Tikka Masala and Woodpecker
Your taste is most peculiar
But so is mine --- I love you
Happy 40th from Julia

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems


KEEN HOLIDAY MAKER / HATES NIGHT SHIFT / HATES DIY

Well done, Chunk, you've made it
A milestone, the big Four -O
You've been married now for half your life
And boy, does it show!

You like to take a holiday
Usually you take three
I'm glad you do it often
Cos you always do it with me

You'd be no good as a vampire
You've got the teeth to give good bites
But the job would drive you batty
Cos you hate working nights

Most blokes like to bang and screw
In a T shirt and old jeans
"Drink Is Yummy" is what you think
DIY means!

You deserve to have some birthday fun
And I'll see that you do
This comes with love from Tracie
Your wife, and best pal too

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

DRILLER / DOESN'T SHAVE FOR WORK / INDIAN FOOD / CIDER

Oh dear Gary, you're forty
And showing signs of wear
Your drill bit's never used now
And you're losing all your hair

It's time for pipe and slippers
And lounging in a chair
Smoking your pipe in the pouring rain
Sharon reckons thats just fair

You'll have to quit the pub and club
Whisky and beer have had their day
And you really ought to shave for work
As your whiskers have turned grey

You're too old for all those biscuits and sweets
We know that it's a shame
As for curry late night binges
That's a young man's game

So it's downhill from here
There'll be no fun at all
But Gary enjoy your 40th
All the best from Kath and Paul

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems


WORKS FOR NISSAN / SPEED FANATIC / SCOUSER / KEEP FITTER

Forty - yet so young at heart
Just a kid with toys thats true
Sensibly you've ditched the bike
Then got an MR2

Nissan seek your loyalty
Dedication you should prove
A Honda bike, then a Toyota car
Not a good career move

A scouse fan with a Man U son
Who goes to the Arsenal game
While the footy's very different
The colours are all the same

A keep fit - guitar playing - boozer
You're a good dad and husband Ray
This is just to say we love you
On this your special day

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

BOPPER / BIRD WATCHER / DIYer

Happy 50th George Harker
Rock and Roll is your pride and joy
You're a left over from the fifties
A geriatric Teddy Boy

But they say you are just as old as you feel
You're still fit enough to bop
You look the part - well except for the paunch
And the "going thin on top".

Addicted lager drinker
From canny Houghton le Spring
Who's got a bit of an eye for the birds ...
.... those of beak and wing.

To a bopping, bird spotting boozer
Who on DIY is keen
Happy Birthday from Jim and Mary
And your rocking partner Jean

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

KEEN SKIER / HIT TREE WHILE SKING / PLAYS SQUASH

Congratulations Peter
Now you've reached the big five 0
It's time for pipe and slippers
Not skiing down the snow

Lets face it that's a young man's game
Young eyes can easily see
An obstacle that's in the way
They'd swerve around a tree 

Perhaps you didn't see the tree
(we're not trying to be unkind)
Or did you get your sports mixed up
Was squash on your mind 

It's time to take up safer things
Perhaps, playing whist
With your mates at "The Black Horse"
While getting ... slowly ..sedately...pissed! 

There's a birthday drink on the CARDS
Is that an offer? we hear you say
Have a bucket of wine and a smashing time
On this your special day ...

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

KEEN ON CARS / SURNAME IS CARR / OWNS TAXI CO

Happy 50th to a Carr - Nut
Cars feature in your work
And what do you do for pleasure
You go driving in your Merc

And you love fast stock car drivers
There's some that you employ
So say those clients daft enough
To book a taxi with Savoy 

You used to be a Milkman
But that got your goat
It's hard to get a speed thrill
Crawling in a float 

Fast cars are a young man's game
When older, it gets harder
You should get a car to suit your age
How's about a Lada?... 

Lets face it, Jim, you're very old
But still can have some fun
Have a really smashing 50th
from your loving wife and son

etc

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

GOLFER / BIRTHDAY ON ST GEORGE'S DAY / EXOTIC HOLIDAYS

James Roberston Justice Brown
You've reached the big Five 0
And still in shape, despite suppin ale
At 80 shillings a go ....

You occasionally spoil a good walk
Knocking a ball o'er hills and dales
And as a Tory with Healey eyebrows
You really need your acting skills 

For Holidays you avoid the madding crowd
From Costa del Sol you'd run a mile
Prefering instead the Orient Express
Or an exotic Western Isle 

You're a Noel Coward kind of chap
That's clear from the life you forge
And as a Taurus you share the destiny
Of the bard and bold St George 

Except you're not so much a writer
More a talker, it must be said
and you've never slayed a dragon
.... you married her instead!

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

DIY / CAR LOVER / FELL OFF A LADDER / TREATS STUFFED DOG AS REAL

Congratulations Father
You've reached the big five 0
And tho' you're very ... very old
You're still always on the go

You're an active DIY man
Always banging, lifting, humping
And how many blokes your age indulge
In ropeless bungee jumping 

A boy racer with your Turbo
You go abroad on holiday
And you're proud of your full head of hair
It's a fetching shade of ........grey 

But senility is definitely setting in
You've been spotted near a tree
It's OK to have a stuffed dog, Dad
But ... it doesn't need a wee !!

On your 50th, do what you do best
Play Barry Manilow in the car
As you tottle off to Satley
With Mam, to Jimmy's Bar 

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

UNDERTAKER / NEWCASTLE SUPPORTER LIVING IN SUNDERLAND / BIRTHDAY 5TH NOV / SMOKER

Reckless risky Robert
You drive a Jag to bingo nights
You have a death wish being a Mackem
Supporting the Black and Whites

You put blackcurrant in your lager
Risking tooth and gum decay
You're a funeral director who likes to smoke
Twenty "coffin nails" a day 

You're a fan of Freddie Mercury (deceased)
You'd like a "chopper" flight
Why you even have your birthday
On risky bonfire night! 

Happy Birthday ... reckless risky Robert
You know we think you're great
Not just as a potential client
But as a colleague and a mate

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

TOOK DOG OUT ON BONFIRE NIGHT / ABBA FAN / HAS UNFINISHED TATOO

This is a tribute to our mad Dad
Hope your birthday's very jolly
We don't mean mad, cos you get annoyed
We mean mad, cos you're off your trolley

Not many Dads read Bunty books
Or do the washing like you do
Or put our clothes on inside out
Or have less than a whole tattoo 

Not many Dads love ABBA
Even fewer love Doris Day
And who'd walk a dog on bonfire night
And be surprised when it ran away 

Playstation's not for 30 year olds
This is proof you're completely mad
But you're also very special
Our very special Dad 

We really love you madly As anyone can tell from Lesley and Kerry (but paid for by Michelle) .

HAPPY 30th

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

TOAST TO TWO FRIENDS CELEBRATING JOINT 40th BIRTHDAY

Heartiest congratulations (Name) and (Name)
On reaching the big Four-O
You've had very hard and gruelling lives
And Boy! does it show

So we asked the "Ten Years Younger" lass
If she could see her way clear
To make a programme about you
And I've got her reply right here

(Open envelope as if seeing letter for first time)

Dear Jon
I've studied the pics you sent me
And what is very clear
We're very good at what we do
But we're not that good, dear

There's not enough surgeons in this world
I don't wish to be mean
But have you considered a quick sand blast
Some glue and plasticine

And Jon, please don't read this out aloud
In case that it offends 
Oh! (pause)
Folks let's raise our glasses for a toast
To our very...very old friends

With advancing years you've gained understanding
That can't be denied
We couldn't have insulted you any more
But believe us, guys, we tried
TO (NAME) and (NAME)

© V4C

Men Birthday Verses Poems

ELVIS IMPERSONATOR / DIYer / DISTINCTIVE NOSE / LIKES AFTERSHAVE

Joe Blenkinsop, "Pops", "Paw Paw"
You've reached the big Six-O
The hips are still a-swivelling
But now a-swivelling slow

You look just like a teenager
In your snazzy Elvis suit
And of course you're splashed all over
With the great smell of Brut

You're a dab hand at DIY
That's what Pops are for
There's family jobs all lined up
For the next 20 years or more

You've been the family leader
Thro' all it's highs and lows
There's always been a big wide grin
'Neath that famous family nose

You're getting on Joe Blenkinsop
But the light doesn't dim
Have a really smashing 60th
With love from Glad and Tim

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

This next one is not for a birthday but for the 2nd Anniversary of Peter Reid as Manager of Sunderland AFC. It was done as a product promotion. The caricature to which this relates is on the Homepage

Happy 2nd Anniversary Reidy

Gaffer, you've reached the 2 year mark
Still backed by fans and board
After Butcher and Buxton you deserve
A long time service award

The City should make you Lord Mayor
You’ve put a smile on Sunderland’s face
And as for missing that other award
“It’s a disgrace...a disgrace...a disgrace"

The Mags all boast of Kev and Kenny
But who do they think they are?
They might be happy with Special K
But we’ve got Caviar

In ’86 in an England shirt
You witnessed the hand of God
This could explain why ever since
You’ve been such a miserable sod

Your commitment’s never been in doubt
As shown by your share option
By birth, you are a Scouser
But you’re a Mackam, by adoption

You’re right to be tight, not to splash the cash
On stars and blokes in fashion
The media love the Megastars
But money can’t buy passion

And passion is what you get from us
And all the fans around the Wear
Happy Anniversary Pete
We’re bloody glad you’re here

from The Lads

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

Continuing now with more birthday material

The most important sex organ is the brain.

© V4C

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
George Bernard Shaw

© V4C

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn. 

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference. 

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfilment comes to those who are also
thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings. 

© V4C

A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but
he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly,
yet surely, shape his circumstances.
Napoleon Hill

© V4C

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death.
I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you
it is much, much more important than that. 
Bill Shankly

© V4C

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

© V4C

Women think they are so clever at faking orgasms...
but only a man can fake a whole relationship.

© V4C

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
English Proverb

© V4C

If women are so bloody perfect at multi tasking, how come
they can’t have a headache & have sex at the same time.
Billy Connolly

© V4C
Men Birthday Verses Poems

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right,
he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles Wadsworth

© V4C

Marry a woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as 
important as any other.

© V4C

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends and parents will.
Stay in touch 

© V4C

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making
other plans.
John Lennon

© V4C

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone,
a backbone and a funnybone.
Reba McEntire

© V4C



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