Jon Bratton's

Chocolate Quotes

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Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

chocolate quotes
If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going said Jane Seabrook. Be content Jane there is heaven in chocolate, says I
, in this my Chocolate Quotes page which is the very place for sayings about choccies which are suitable for quoting to a chocolate loving friend on their birthday or at any time in a card or text message 

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Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. Forrest Gump in "Forrest Gump" (1994)

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In the beginning, the Lord created chocolate, and he saw that it was good. Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better.

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Chocolate Quotes

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good. 
Lora Brody, author of Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet

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Tee shirt slogan 
EMERGENCY ALERT:
If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed,
ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. 

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Chocolate Quotes

A guy found a bottle and a genie granted three wishes
"Well" he said "I'm broke and life sucks
I'd like to be really stinking rich."
***POOF****
There was a million bucks

"The best car in the World" he said
"Is what I'd really adore,
But it costs $1.7 million
***POOF****
There was a Bugatti Veyron 16.4 

"Finally" he said "I'm a nerdy geek
I'm not one of those hunky jocks
I'd like to be irresistible to all women
***POOF****
He was turned into an automatically refilling giant chocolate box

(Which unfortunately has no need for money and a car but, on the other hand, will get slobbered over by women)

Jon Bratton 2012

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more chocolate quotes

It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man.
Miranda Ingram

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Chocolate Quotes

Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets 
Milton Zelman, publisher of "Chocolate News"

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A day without chocolate is a day without sunshine.

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I never met a chocolate I didn't like. 
Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation

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Exercise is a dirty word... Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be.

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Chocolate Quotes

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. 
Michael Levine, nutrition researcher,

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Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt.

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Life without chocolate is like a beach without water.

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I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

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Flowers wilt, jewellery tarnishes, and candles burn out...but chocolate doesn't hang around long enough to wilt, tarnish or burn out.

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There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. Linda Grayson

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Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. Michael Levine said that as a chocolate loving but totally ignorant food chemist. Ignore him, while you enjoy another chocolate, to hell with chemistry

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After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.
Mel Gibson

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A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate.

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I don't understand why so many "so called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.

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The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

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Some consider that the three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate.

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If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

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Chocolate Quotes

I take chocolate from strangers.

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Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.

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Eat a square meal a day – a box of chocolate.

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I’m a Chocoholics Anonymous dropout.

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Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment.

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Chocolate Quotes

Never eat more chocolate than you can lift.

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Among life’s mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds.

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There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.

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Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful!

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Money talks. Chocolate sings!

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There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.

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Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.


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Chocolate Quotes

"Liquidum non frangit jejunum." ([chocolate] liquids, amongst them, do not constitute a break in fasting.) Cardinal Francis Maria Brancaccio of the Vatican, 1662

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Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces 
Judith Viorst

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If it ain't chocolate, it ain't breakfast!

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Life is like a box of chocolates, the best ones are half eaten!!

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Chocolate Quotes

Chocolate in the morning is what makes moms get through their day!

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz

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Cassandra Clare “Will looked horrified. "What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?” ― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel 

Judith Viorst “Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.” ― Judith Viorst, Love & Guilt & The Meaning Of Life, Etc 

John Green “Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars 

Dave Barry “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” 

Lora Brody “Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.” ― Lora Brody tags: chocolate, food, humor, sex 389 people liked it like

Rachel Caine “Can I come back and see you sometime?" Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate." Gramma, you're diabetic." I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.” ― Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance tags: chocolate 341 people liked it like

Dave Barry “Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.” ― Dave Barry tags: chocolate 291 people liked it like

Jarod Kintz “A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.
” ― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it. tags: astronaut, chocolate, funny, humor, kiss, melt, tinfoil, water 274 people liked it like

Rachel Vincent “Chocolate says "I'm sorry" so much better than words.” ― Rachel Vincent, My Soul to Save tags: apology, chocolate, life, sorry, words 227 people liked it like

Joanne Harris “Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.” ― Joanne Harris, Chocolat tags: alive, bittersweet, chocolate, happiness, heart, simplicity, torture 221 people liked it like

Rachel Hill “Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.” ― Rachel Hill, A Girls Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff tags: boyfriends, boys, chocolate, girls, humor, manga, reardon, simile, young-adult 165 people liked it like

Katharine Hepburn “What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.” ― Katharine Hepburn tags: chocolate 141 people liked it like

Chocolate Quotes

Sarah Vowell “Just the other day, I was in my neighborhood Starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. I was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the New World. From the Spanish exportation of Aztec cacao, and the Dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of Hershey, PA, and the lifestyle marketing of Seattle's Starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top.” ― Sarah Vowell tags: chocolate, coffee, history 130 people liked it like

Jana Oliver “The End is Nigh!" the man shouted. "Is there still time for hot chocolate?" Riley asked. The-End-is-Nigh guy blinked. "Ah, maybe, I don’t know.” ― Jana Oliver, Forbidden tags: chocolate, end-of-the-world 95 people liked it like

Sandra Boynton “The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare...neither knew chocolate.” ― Sandra Boynton tags: chocolate 86 people liked it like

“ Furry Logic Laugh at Life tags: chocolate, heaven, humor 83 people liked it like

Sarah Addison Allen “Like magic, she felt him getting nearer, felt it like a pull in the pit of her stomach. It felt like hunger but deeper, heavier. Like the best kind of expectation. Ice cream expectation. Chocolate expectation.” ― Sarah Addison Allen, The Sugar Queen tags: chocolate, desire, expectation, hunger, ice-cream, magic 82 people liked it like

Chocolate Quotes

“Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt.” ― Judith Olney tags: chocolate, food 80 people liked it like

Sandra Boynton “As with most fine things, chocolate has its season....Any month whose name contains the letter a,e, or u is the proper time for chocolate.” ― Sandra Boynton tags: chocolate, seasons 79 people liked it like

Terry Moore “The 12-step chocolate program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!” ― Terry Moore tags: chocolate 67 people liked it like

Fernando Pessoa “Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.” ― Fernando Pessoa tags: chocolate, dessert, humour 66 people liked it like

Kathryn Stockett “I listened wide-eyed, stupid. Glowing by her voice in the dim light. If chocolate was a sound, it would've been Constantine's voice singing. If singing was a color, it would've been the color of that chocolate.” ― Kathryn Stockett, The Help tags: chocolate, singing 66 people liked it like

Chocolate Quotes


Chocolate - The breakfast of champions!

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If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

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Man cannot live on chocolate alone; but woman sure can.

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There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate
Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"

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Chocolate: Here today .... Gone today!

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The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps from chocolate! Terry Moore

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Chocolate Quotes

All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is.
Arnold Ismach, "The Darker Side of Chocolate"

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Chocolate is the best when it melts so creamy and soft in your mouth and it slides down your throat.

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Forget love...I'd rather fall in chocolate!

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Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and no appointment is needed.

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Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.

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Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays.

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I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

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Chocolate Quotes

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and chocolate truffles.

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I have this theory that chocolate slows down the ageing process…It may not be true, but do I dare to take the chance?

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Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete Hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate! 
Elaine Sherman
Book of Divine Indulgences

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Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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Life is like a box of chocolates—full of nuts!

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There's more to life than chocolate, but not right now.

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Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. It's something that should be had on a daily basis.
Sandra Bullock

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Chocolate Quotes

Liquidum non frangit jejunum
Chocolate liquids do not constitute a break in fasting
Cardinal Brancaccio...the Holy Fat One

Simply put... everyone has a price, mine is chocolate!

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Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing 
Milton Snavely Hershey

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Chocolate doesn't make the world go around ... but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile!

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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show, August 22

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Chocolate Quotes

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Jo Brand

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I never do any television without chocolate. That's my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I'm a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It's amazing I'm so slim.
Dawn French

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Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good. 
Mariska Hargitay

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I guess if I'm a product, either you're chocolate, you're vanilla or you're butterscotch. You can't be all three. 
Bruno Mars

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Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

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I can't walk by chocolate without eating it.
Malin Akerman

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Chocolate Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz

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I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. 
John Belushi

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I'm fighting a losing battle here: I'm trying to lose some weight. I love chocolate; that's one of my biggest downfalls. I haven't gotten a whole lot of chocolate, thank goodness, because I'd probably be about 300 pounds. 
Carrie Underwood

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Chocolate is good for three things. Two of 'em cannot be mentioned on public television.

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... the taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex... For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate... entirely by myself. Furtiveness makes it better. 
Dr. Ruth Westheimer

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Chocolate Quotes

I used to dirt bike a lot. I can't do that anymore. Can't eat a whole lot of chocolate anymore, either. I can't be in 'Indiana Jones' and be a fatso! 
Shia LaBeouf

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Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate.
from "A History of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate", James Wadworth (1768-1844)

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Chocolate Quotes

"Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso."
(Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) 
Spanish proverb

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I am not strict vegan, because I'm a hedonist pig. If I see a big chocolate cake that is made with eggs, I'll have it. 
Grace Slick

Quotes that happen to mention chocolate

French fries. I love them. Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fries. That and caviar. 
Cameron Diaz

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I'm lucky, I don't like sweets, not even chocolate. 
Eva Herzigova

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Chocolate's okay, but I prefer a really intense fruit taste. You know when a peach is absolutely perfect... it's sublime. I'd like to capture that and then use it in a dessert. 
Kathy Mattea

* Chocolate Quotes *

Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny. 
Mike Myers

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I know all about you. You're the people waiting on the shoreline with the warm towels and the hot chocolate after the woman swims the English Channel.
Gwen Moore

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I reckon I tried everything on the old apple, but salt and pepper and chocolate sauce topping.
Gaylord Perry

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For exercise, I now run with my chocolate Lab puppy, Oscar. 
Daniela Pestova 

More Chocolate Quotes

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