Jon Bratton's

Drinking Sayings

but, first...

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Welcome to Drinking Sayings

I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.


I don't have a drink problem
I drink, I fall over. No problem!


If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.


I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker


What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? 
W.C. Fields


I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me. 
W.C. Fields


Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!

More Drinking Sayings

Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin


I'm not drunk. I have a speech impediment


This Drinking Sayings web page brings you quotes and messages on the subject of imbibing which are suitable for inclusion in cards to your drinking buddies, scrapbooking or merely for belly shaking bar room banter

more drinking sayings

A lady came up to me one day and said "Sir! You are drunk", to which I replied "I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly." 
Winston Churchill


If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. 
Dean Martin


Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey.


I am not drunk
I am by nature a very loud, clumsy, friendly person

The reason I wake up every afternoon


My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.


Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra


Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Oscar Wilde 


I would stop drinking, but I ain't no quitter


Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Drinking Sayings

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W.C. Fields


To Alcohol
The cause of-and solution to-all of life's problems


You're only as strong as
the tables you dance on
the drinks you mix
and the friends you roll with


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading


Half drunk is a waste of money


"Let's have a beer"
"One beer? What's the point of that?"


I'd like another drink I think 

I'd like another drink, I think
Another drink to make me pink 

I think I'll drink until I stink 
I'll drink until I cannot blink 
Perhaps I'll have a shot of rye 
The rye I spy with my own eye 
Some rye to make me fly so high 
I think that I can touch the sky 
Or maybe I will have some rum 
It's not so dumb to want some rum 
I'll drink and fall upon my bum 
Or maybe contemplate my thumb 
Some vodka would be very nice 
Or wine, or maybe scotch on ice 
Perhaps Kahlua would entice 
I'll drink it once, I'll drink it twice 
I want some beer to make me cheer 
Hurray! Hurrah! A cheer for beer! 
I will not stick it in my ear 
Hurrah! Hurray! I'm here for beer! 
I'll drink with my friends Jack and Ron 
I'll drink until my liver's gone 
I'll invite Sam and Bud and you 
And Captain Morgan can come, too 
I'm loaded now, I have to go 
My brain is working very slow 
There's just one thing I need to know: 
Where is the can? I have to go!

Dr Seuss


I used to think drinking was bad for me
So I gave up..


More Drinking Sayings elsewhere

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you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week) 


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