Jon Bratton's

Divorce Verses Poems

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Divorce Verses Poems 
You should have hired a hearse for the wedding 
Instead of the carriage and horse 
Never mind, you've gots lots to look forward to 
Now you've got your divorce 
Congratulations

Jon Bratton © 2005

© V4C


The judge asked the lady
"What's the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "Four acres and a mansion 
And a babbling brook on the 9 hole course"

"No," he said, "What's the foundation of this case?"
"Concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"My husband's parents are OK, but we've never bonded"

"Is there any infidelity 
In your marriage?" the judge said
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets.
Which they listen to in bed"

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "It's true
About twice a week he gets out of bed 
Earlier than I do."

In frustration, the judge asked, "Why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh I don't. My husband does, you see. 
He said that try as he might 
He just can't communicate with me!"

Jon Bratton © 2012
Divorce Verses Poems
(based on a joke by another, unknown)

© V4C
Divorce Verses Poems

You were (7) years a-courting 
Then marriage took it's course
It didn't work, so here's wishing you
A long and happy divorce 

Jon Bratton © 2005 

© V4C

Congrats on your divorce
Over religious differences, wasn't it?
He thought he was God, 
And you thought he was a Shit.
But he did bring you religion
And he did it very well
For everyday of your married life
Did you not experience Hell?

Jon Bratton © 2005

© V4C

The perfect man is gentle
Never harsh nor cruel nor mean
He is attentive and considerate
And he keeps the home so clean.
He loves to do the vacuuming 
And cooking, he loves that too
Yes he'll do anything in his power
To show his love for you.
He's never made you shed a tear
Nor hurt you in any way
You shouldn't have wed the Shit you did
Coz the perfect man is gay.

Congratulations on your Divorce

Jon Bratton © 2010
Divorce Verses Poems
(based on sentiments of another)

© V4C

You were (7) years a-courting
Then marriage took it's course
It didn't work, so here's wishing you
A long and happy divorce

Jon Bratton © 2005

© V4C

All of these Divorce Verses Poems Quotes may be used for personal/private purposes without seeking permission but may not be used for commercial purposes unless permission is sought and granted

Love was not enough for you,
Not enough in each heart.
Your differences were much too great,
Your lives had grown apart.

You didn't like each other much,
But put that truth aside
About your love, you're agreed
You agree that it has died

Heartiest best wishes
On the divorce coming through
It's the End of an Error
And the start of something new

Jon Bratton © 2006

© V4C




more divorce verses poems

When they leave the house, 
Men kiss their wife goodbye 
When they leave the wife.
They kiss their house goodbye

Jon Bratton © 2005
Divorce Verses Poems

© V4C

Let the past make you better..
..not bitter

© V4C


Marriage is a three-ring circus

Engagement ring, then wedding ring,
Then suffering, of course
Suffering's now endering, 
Congrats on your divorce.

Jon Bratton © 2010

© V4C

You appeared so very happy 
The day you made that vow 
But I have noted one thing 
You seem much happier now.
For better or for worse, 
You had the worse ..of course 
So this is just to wish for you 
A jubilant divorce

Marjie ( Bunnikins) © 2006 

© V4C 

Divorce Verses Poems

Welcome to my page
If you are a Crafter/ Individual you are free to use these verses without asking permission including Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week) but note copyright law applies to * the body of work in parts and as a whole * individual verses so far as commercial companies are concerned We hope you find something you can use.

© V4C

I was there in the crowd, 
When you were a bride, 
With the man o' your dreams,
Stood by your side.. 
Well ..those dreams turned to nightmares
And your life turned to **** 
So here's my best wishes 
For a Good Legal Split!

Marjie (Bunnikins) © 2006

© V4C

That day you said ''I Do'' 
You made a big mistake! 
But that has now been rectified,
You've ditched the lying fake.
So.....we'll have a jolly 'knees -up' 
With lots of booze.....of course 
We'll celebrate your freedom 
And your 'just granted' divorce!.

Marjie (Bunnikins) © 2006

© V4C

Divorce Verses Poems 


Divorce..but with a new partner

Heartiest best wishes 
On the divorce coming through 
It's the End of an Error 
And the start of something new

Above the horizon 
In days ahead, the sky looks blue
Onwards and upwards ( Lauren ) and ( Jack ) 
All the best to the both of you 

Jon Bratton © 2006

© V4C

The decree nisi 
Was very nice, aye 
But with the absolute decree 
You're absolutely free 
Enjoy 

Jon Bratton © 2006 

© V4C 

Divorce Verses Poems

Here's us hoping avidly 
Your divorce proceeds trouble-free 
And very soon you will be 
As free as free can be 

© V4C

Our little boy is four years old and quite a little man
So we spell out the words we don't want him to understand
Like T.O.Y or maybe S.U.R.P.R.I.S.E
But the words we're hiding from him now
Tear the heart right out of me.

Our D.I.V.O.R.C.E becomes final today
Me and little J.O.E will be goin' away
I love you both and it will be pure H.E double L for me
Oh, I wish that we could stop this D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Watch him smile, he thinks it Christmas
Or his 5th Birthday
And he thinks C.U.S.T.O.D.Y spells fun or play
I spell out all the hurtin' words
And turn my head when I speak
'Cause I can't spell a way this hurt
That's drippin' down my cheek.

Our D.I.V.O.R.C.E becomes final today
Me and little J.O.E will be goin' away
I love you both and it will be pure H.E double L for me
Oh, I wish that we could stop this D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

© Tammy Wynette 
source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

© V4C

The foolish and cruel notion that a wife is to obey her husband
Has sent more women to the grave than to the courts for a divorce.
Lemuel K. Washburn

© V4C

I meant those vows so long ago
They were the truest words I'd said;
But all that changed the minute you
Took someone else to bed.

Fidelity and monogomy are vital for success
But you found that hard to do;
So I've packed your bags and off you go
I'm divorcing you.

Maggie-May © 2009

© V4C
Divorce Verses Poems 

For those who now are sad
My mother being one;
I've given up I'm sorry
There's no more to be done.

We've both been sad and angry
But now we are relieved;
The fun and games are now starting
As to who that is believed.

Money, money, money,
The costs are quite sky high;
The bloody wedding cost enough
I just might start to cry.
Maggie-May © 2009

© V4C

You will always remain in my heart
But I must leave you now;
As this chapter is all storied out
And it's over anyhow!

© V4C

Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.
Gerald F. Lieberman

© V4C

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams

© V4C

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

G. B. Trudeau

© V4C

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Mary Kay Blakely

© V4C

The means of which are to refute
The words said long ago
Sadly those full of love
Are the ones now full of woe.

Broken hearts are left behind
The lives in pieces all around
The cost of which goes on and on
The pain also knows no bounds.

© V4C

Having joined two souls and hearts
In jointedness by law
The only way now is divorce
Where's the exit door?

All's fair in love and war
So no holds barred is on
It doesn't matter not a jot
As all the love has gone.

© V4C
Divorce Verses Poems 


Money, money, money
The costs are quite sky high
The bloody wedding cost enough
I just might start to cry.

© V4C


Unwanted gifts don't get wrapped
But this one needs respect;
For proper healing to take place
You don't need to leave regrets.

So try and show some honor
Forgiveness where it's due;
Let go peacably if you can
It's no good feeling blue.

Have a little ceremony
To break the vows made in heaven;
As an angel was sent that very day
To watch over you and was interwoven.
Maggie-May

© V4C
Divorce Verses Poems 

I know that this was meant to last
At the very least forever
I'm sure though you probably know
We have at least endeavoured.

Love shouldn't be this hard
In fact if it hurts then it's not right
So on this note the fat lady sings
The last and final Goodnight!

© V4C

The least said soonest mended 
Is how the saying goes
So let's not suffer more
We now have only lows.

It's all very sad how
The highs disappeared quite fast
Everyone told us but we couldn't see
That it wasn't meant to last.

Another chapter over
In this loves lost little book
I'll leave it for a year or two
Before I have another look.

© V4C

This isn't any good
I cannot carry on
I don't know any reason
Why our love has gone.

The feelings that I felt
Have certainly up and left
So rather than draw this out
And leave you all bereft.

I'm finishing this now
The relationship is gone
I wish you well for later
Tomorrow is a new dawn!

© V4C

Being fabulous is the best revenge
So get that lippy on
Get out there to a new life
The old is good riddanced and gone

© V4C

How dare you look me in the eye
And just say the words "It's over"
I thought everything was alright
And we were living in clover.

© V4C

Whats done is done
No more going back
The love died straight away
Dont treat me like a hack!

© V4C

Bad romance isn't better
Than having none at all;
If ever you have a heart transplant
Then you can give me a call.

Heart resuscitation is what I need
But until then you can take a hike;
If that never happens then
Go away forever on your bike.

© V4C

Despite the aspersion-casting rumblings from the surrounding crowd, a divorce is only ever two people wide

Tracey West, Preface to Poetry of Divorce

And here's one such poem...to the tune of Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh

There's a letter
On the table
And I'm feeling
Quite unable
To approach it
Case it bites me
I've a notion it's the dreaded Decree Nisi

What a stupid
Old description
Makes me reach for
My prescription
For depression
Pills will out it
I've decided there is (f*** all) nothing nice about it

Tracey reading her Divorce verses poems

© V4C

Divorce Verses / Poems / Quotes Please pass on my best wishes to the person you know who has become divorced. Call again for more verses and poems and perhaps it might be a good idea to add my home page to your Favorites...link is below

That's all the Divorce Verses Poems 

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