Jon Bratton's

Unique Birthday Wishes

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Unique Birthday Wishes which are
Uniquely Original Birthday Words
Wishing Witty Ditties, bordering on the absurd...
To help you really enjoy your birthday today here’s a tip from me
To get really stoned, drink wet cement

Jon Bratton © 2008

© V4C

Of you, this I speak
You are a one-off, unique
But stay real, on an even keel
Coz we all are, so no big deal
But oh, I've just noticed the date
Enjoy your birthday, let it be uniquely GREAT

Jon Bratton © 2012

© V4C

"The I in illness is isolation,
And the crucial letters in wellness are we."
"Good friends are good for your health."
And "A harmonious relationship can enhance your well-be."
These quotations are wise
And undoubtedly true
Which is unfortunate 
For a Billy No-mates, saddo like you

Kidding!
Surround yourself with friends and have a
H.A.P.P.Y. BIRTHDAY

Jon Bratton © 2009

© V4C

As you are the age you are (old, retired etc...)
You'll know this to be true
You can observe a lot...by watching
How smart, that's just like you
Happy Birthday
And keep keeping a look out

Jon Bratton © 2011
(but inspired by Yogi Berri)

© V4C
Unique Birthday Wishes

"People who laugh actually live longer than those who don't laugh. Few persons realize that health actually varies according to the amount of laughter."
So do try to cheer up, you miserable old git
Its your birthday, so party hearty

Jon Bratton © 2009, ably assisted by a wise unknown person 

Google, I've tried really hard to bring to the internet something original that deserves the accolade 'Unique' but as you know, it's virtually impossible to be unique with mass copying...that's not your fault...but you haven't done enough...here's something. If a website uses a word like Unique, nail all, if the content is not unique, except the one who got there first


You do absolutely seek
To be absolutely unique
A redundant absolutely is what you got
You're either unique or you're not
Have a uniquely wonderous birthday

Jon Bratton © 2012

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Wishes




more unique birthday wishes

May your day be better than a unicorn farting a rainbow

© V4C

"My research has convinced me that lack of oxygen is the root of most, or perhaps even, all disease."
So my advice is: keep breathing, buddy
(Perhaps, start off the day with some heavy breathing
In your birthday suit)
Whatever, have a fabulous (XXth) birthday

Jon Bratton © 2009, ably assisted by Dr. Shizuo Inoue

© V4C

On your birthday contemplate this:
You’re still alive because of your good clean living while some reprobates are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.

© V4C

You’re the sort of guy who has faith in fools.
I’ve always admired your self confidence
Happy Birthday

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Wishes

The first requirement for a composer is to be dead but as you lack any kind of musical talent, there’s no hurry… so enjoy your birthday

© V4C

While trying to enjoy your birthday surrounded by many folk you didn’t necessarily choose to spend your birthday with, remember this: 
The sane appear as strange to the mad as the mad to the sane

© V4C

“Joy, temperance and repose slam the door on the doctor's nose.”Be happy, get rest and stay off the drink 
Is what Henry Longfellow meant, I think
But today is your birthday
So party hearty

Jon Bratton © 2009, ably assisted by Longfellow

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Wishes

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book."
Try laughing in your sleep. Saves time. Keeps lurgies away.
For, as you are aware today, time is not on your side
Happy Birthday. Laughing is recommended today

Jon Bratton © 2009, ably assisted by an Irish Proverb

© V4C 
Weakly but Uniquely Birthday Poems

You’ve got everything you need

So my gift is this wish I give
May you live as long as you want to,
And want to as long as you live.
Happy Birthday, my friend

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Greeting Verses

That you should have a magnificent (XXth) birthday

Is so very well deserved
But make sure you have the fire department standing by
When the cake is served

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

People of your age will pay you questionable compliments

I think you’ll start to find
But you really are a magnificent specimen of (manhood)(womanhood)
Physically fit, with a remarkably sharp mind...
....for your age!!
No but seriously, you really are younger than you look

Jon Bratton 2012


© V4C 
Unusual Birthday Wishes

People who have the most birthdays live the longest. 
Some wise man once said
So keep clockin ‘em up
Coz without them, you’re dead

Now don’t you feel much better
About today being your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. 
Bob Hope said that
So...get “Forever Young” tattooed on your belly
Do it now...while it’s smooth and flat

Have a great birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

"Laugh while you still have teeth!"
When they’re no more, you can still smile on
And just reach for the magnifying glass
When the eyes have gone
But for now
Party Hearty
Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Unique Birthday Wishes
 in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

People give birthday gifts to unwrap,
Is why, I suspect, you don’t like birthdays any more 
Well, relax, my friend, for I have saved you
From that tedious chore

Have a good one

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Age is something that doesn’t matter, 
Unless you are a cheese.
And the fact that you feel tired all the time
And you have a chest that’s inclined to wheeze

Happy Birthday
My Ageless Friend

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

With age comes wisdom. 
And boy, does it show
My birthday message is etched on your face
“You're one of the wisest people I know!”

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Unique Birthday Wishes in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“No wise man ever wished to be younger.”
Said Jonathan Swift, who was a bit of a swot
“Don’t wish younger, act it,” says me, 
Till you haven’t, use what you’ve got,”

Have a good ‘un, my young friend of old

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“You know you're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it”
Well tough titty
Here’s a reality check
You’ve grown old, so now grow up
But hey, buddy
Have a fantastic birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny Birthday Quotes
© V4C

One more year of existence down the drain.
Aint that very true
And you would have just loved the gift
I didn't bother getting you.
Because life’s too short
For opening packages
When there’s bottles craving your attention
Party Hearty

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late.”
Said the late Pablo Picasso
Fortunately, you’re just (37) today
So get started getting young

Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Wishes in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“You're not (42), you're eighteen 
With (24) years experience’.
Said someone unknown
Total Bullshit, you are (42)!!
So, get on the phone
Party hearty
From now, until...

You expire and de-party

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

May you live to be 100 
And may the last voice you hear be mine.
Said Frank Sinatra
Imbibing a vat of wine
Be Frank today
Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.
Said Maurice Chevalier, the French crooner
Live long, but ...with dementia and in pain
Or go for broke..and..but... ..die sooner
Today’s your birthday
So go mental
(It’ll be good Alzeimic practice)

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C 
Unique Birthday Wishes in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” 
Said boring George Bernard Shaw
Stay young forever, then slide majestically into death
Screaming “More, More, Encore, Bloody More”

But for today, just chill, and enjoy your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed”,
Said Charles Schulz, pessimistically
Picking up speed is good..adrenalin is good
For the heart says I, optimistically
Have a great birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

Unique birthday Wishes in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes

“The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.”
Once said Oscar Wilde
But then he said almost everything
He was such a Wilde child
Act like Oscar
And win one, today, on your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, 
but the best improve with age.
C.E.M. Joad said that
What a sage
Prove the way
Improve today
Birthday Boy

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“Old age is always 15 years older than you are”
A wise man once said
That way you’ll be 15 years from being old
When you’re dead
So go for it
Party hearty

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny Birthday Quotes
© V4C

Inside every older person is a confused younger person 
“What the hell happened”’ (he)(she) muses and guesses
There’s no confusion in your case
It’s just years of abuse and excesses
So, why stop now
Party Hearty, Birthday (Boy)(Girl)

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C
Unique Birthday Wishes in the form of Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Don't think of yourself as getting older . . . 
You are, of course, but it's best not to think of it! 

Happy Birthday!



© V4C

Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.

© V4C



Recycle... 
celebrate last year's birthday

© V4C

Another year older..
..none the wiser...

Happy Birthday

© V4C



You think you’re special

Just because it’s your birthday today

No way is what I say

Coz to me you’re special every day

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

You're not old.

You're just a victim of gravity

But today, gird up your loins and party hearty

© V4C

You can’t be over the hill - You can't get up it!


© V4C

Happy Birthday but remember this. Don't let an old person crawl into your body!


© V4C

Indulge in your favorite sport today

Hunting for your spectacles

So you can read this card

© V4C

On your birthday, don't make up your face

Make up your mind...
..to be young

© V4C

This unique birthday wishes web page has, for a nano second at least, greetings for a friend's birthday which you will find nowhere else on the internet (except where I have used the same sentiments in a different context). I'll try to report back as and when the content thieves find this page and copy it in whole or in part, and in particular, I'll tell you how much I sued them for. Google, I love you, and yet I don't, because you reaaally must do something about plagia...bollox...theft...Copyright applies 
 

If you've not filled your boots with these " Unique Birthday Wishes ", there's loads more quotes, witticisms and pithy one liners on these two pages
 Free Birthday Sayings
What to Write in Birthday Cards 




If you fancy a right good browse round this massive site may I suggest you do it from the

Homepage
from this Unique Birthday Wishes page

Pour yourself something refreshing and browse to your heart's content
Or try the

 Birthday Hub (Birthday Site Map)
Where you will find all 30+ pages comprising my Birthday Poems Verses Quotes Collection 

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you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week) 

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