but, first...
Welcome
Everyone
I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you
Jon Bratton
Farewell Poem is the name of this page because it has that very thing, in written words and on video, a recording of the delivery of the speech by me, the author and a member of a theater group in Amphroia from whence five people were leaving
This is just a little ditty
A goodbye, good luck poem
To say goodbye to our dear friends
As they make their way back home
Yes folks, you've had the play
It's now sincerity time
To pay tribute to our departing members
And insult them all in rhyme
I've heard about your ditties
I'm not sure I'm very keen
I just take poetic license
You take liberties, you mean
If you're going to insult my friends
I don't want any part
Oh Mary, don't make a fuss
I'll behave, cross my heart
OK, but no derogatory remarks
Did I not promise just now
No innuendoes or calling people names
Get on, yer silly cow
Farewell Poem
Alright, it's goodbye to two fine actors
Which is a terrible pity
It's goodbye to a fine producer
And two members of committee
We say goodbye to just one mother
And three men-the total's nine
We bid adieu to a man of spirit
And one who deals in wine
Farewell to two married couples
And one who's happy....and free
If we count the departing back stage folk
The number comes to three
So far, that's seventeen people
That's really more than plenty
Throw in two ladies and a lighting man
And the number comes to twenty
There's two who dabble in computers
There's one in avionics
There's four who like to tipple wine
And one on moonshine and tonics
There's a sewing singing teacher
Who's big in the arts... arse
There's a devoted snooker player
Who like playing darts... farce
There's one with a London accent
There's four who speak quite posh
There's two who like a game of bridge
And one who's fond of squash
There's one who's very nautical
And at least one who's very naughty
That's an awful lot of people
The number now is forty
Forty people leaving?
That's enough to fill a bus
But it's not the first time that we've faced
A mass exodus
Farewell Poem
Anyway, I've found some double accounting
The number's only five
And though they're indispensable
Rep Players will survive
Rep Players used to be mainly American
Then the British made a coop (coup)
Excuse me, that should be coo, it's French. It's a silent 'P'
A silent 'P' huh?
OK! R.P. used to be American
Then the British made a coo
And now the Brits are leaving
Five in one fell swoo
So what'll become of the membership
Who will it next comprise
If it goes the way of the Country
Bangladeshis and Thais
Anyway, who are these five people
Who will pretty soon be gone
It's time for us to name them
And insult them one by one
Farewell Poem
Let's start with Gill, a talented actress
A girl of many parts
She can play a really marvelous drunk
Who hiccups, burps and....falls over
Gill's been in so many plays
'Absent Friends' was a nice piece
Ah yes Dianna, she only wanted one affair
The entire Canadian Mounted Police
She was in Shakespeare's Ladies
And in 'What the Butler Saw'
And two parts in the Comedy Hour
And she still came back for more
And in 'Move Over Mrs Markham'
She really can't go wrong
All tweedy drawers and sensible shoes
It'll be her great swan song
Farewell Poem
That's where she has a "man that does"
Which is somewhat ironic
Cos Martin would like to, but usually can't
After a night on moonshine and tonic
Are you saying his connubial duties
He is failing to fulfill
I'm just saying-once he's said yes to a pint
He always says no to a Gill
But Martin really loves his wife
Then he should really love her first
It's not his fault, it's just he has
A most prodigious thirst
But he must be a man that does
Every now and then
Oh of course....three times
Charis, Luke and Jen
No I'm not having it
(Oh you as well, huh?)
We can't treat a friend this way
OK, Clever Clogs
You think of something nice to say
Err...um..We're really glad there's a few more months
Before he finally retires
And he's going to be a tremendous loss
To the local moonshine suppliers
He's been a great help to them
I must say, quite ingeniously
Now look, Martin doesn't drink that much
What? He takes it intravenously?
Martin's made a marvelous contribution
To this town's theater life
Oh you mean while he was boozing at the darts
He sent along his wife
No, I mean he's contributed a great deal
To the theaters of this town
Oh yes, I remember his two cultured acts of drama
Balox meets Charlie Brown
I really think you've said enough
You're all the same, you men
You never mentioned Martin's producing skills
I did, Emma, Kit and Ben
Farewell Poem
Oh, I give up, let's turn to David M
Now this time you must shine
David's very fond of squash
He'll drink anything with moonshine
John F taught David all he knows
You mean, fixing the roof at Large
No, on lighting, On "With All My Love I Hate You"
David was in charge
But it was his work on the Victorian Evening
Where he really made his mark
He is the first class Lighting Man
Who's kept completely in the dark
Oh, you mean the Local Ladies Night
Where he lay flat out on the ground
Afraid to move a muscle
Afraid to make a sound
Trying to work those switches
Must have really been a drag
And it must have been so very hot
Inside that plastic bag
It's just unfortunate he was discovered
Is this a sort of riddle
No, I mean, now he's the only lighting man
Without a knob to follow
Farewell Poem
Anne's our period costume team
At sewing she's very deft
And she makes all her own clothes
With all the bits that left
Wasn't her role tonight real good
Perhaps even better than Gill's
Anne, playing a sexpat
That took no acting skills
And she's doing a really super job
With the Elizabethan Street
Yes, it's like coitus interuptus
Nice, but incomplete
Whenever there's a job to do
In she always pitches
And as our jolly wardrobe lady
She's kept us all in stitches
Yes, Anne's a real comedienne
The best of all the wits
She's the one who tried to name
This lovely room The Pits
Farewell Poem
Which brings us on to Vincent
Who can't escape all blame
Was he not the M,C.
Who allowed that awful name
Vince is our sea-going member
Who likes to cast off daily
Yes, as Dennis Healey would put it
He is our Saily Bayley
But no one could doubt his acting skills
Not even a Doubting Thomas
And when it comes to building bars
I've heard he shows lots of promise
But in making stock for the bar
For perfection he has striven
Yes, we thank him for those lovely grapes
And the spirit in which they're given
Vince has been here just one year
No one could say he stalls
Yes, he hadn't put his first batch down
When he was in Inspector Calls
Was he not in the Ghost Train
And A Comedy Hour And A Bit
And he even wrote the play tonight
Another resounding hit
He was in the Victorian Evening
And the Engineer in Eddie's play
And I've heard he pops into Longhams
But just to collect his pay
He's certainly been a busy chap
Well, that is very true
If you ask Longhams about him
They'll say "Vincent who?"
He just likes an active social life
A man about the town
Which is why they trimmed his money back
And closed his winery down
Farewell Poem
Right, now you've insulted everyone
What have you got to say?
I'm very sorry...that you made me throw
All the best bits away
I wanted to tell them all about the...
Enough, that will do!
It's time for Roy to make his speech
Can we spare an hour or two?
I'd like to end on a personal note
Working with you all has been a joy
And I wish you all the very best
As I hand you on to Roy
See many more examples of Farewell Poem speeches
Verses4Cards
..write for the occasion
Here's details of my Facebook page
If you like what I write
I'd love a Like
Still Looking?
OK, for your convenience, here's your search bar
Applicable to Website Publishers
On the other hand
Fair and Proper Use
If you are a
Crafter
Private Individual
Charity
you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week)
©
V4C
write for the occasion
____________________
Homepage Easter Mothers Day Birthday Love & Marriage
Baby Get Well Christening Sorry Thank You Across the Miles Congratulations Retirement Graduation Chocolates
Sexy Fairy Life Funeral Farewell V4C Facebook Page
How to write verses
How to print verses
Life Poems Angel Poems Fairy Poems Best Loved Poems Red Hatter Poems Angel of the North Poems Winter Poems Crafter Poems
What's New My Facebook Page Sitemap Homepage Birthday Love & Marriage Baby Christening Get Well Retirement Funeral Graduation Christmas Easter Mothers Day Fathers Day Valentines Funny
Google +
New! Comments
Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.