Jon Bratton's

40th Birthday Poems

but, first...

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

40th Birthday Poems
Don't think of 40 as ten years older than 30. 
Think of it as only 1 year older than 39
Go ahead, as it's your birthday
Delusion, today, is just fine

It's a good employ

Jon Bratton © 2012

Dear hubby, now you're forty,
I should be able to change you,
For two twenties...
but could I cope?
Happy Big Four-O Day
To my Big For-Oooh Man

Jon Bratton © 2012

If life begins at 40....
Your voice will break a decade or more from now
You've got 16 years before you start shaving
You better put on a diaper tonight before going to bed
And NO BOOZE today
Happy 40th Birthday Buddy

Jon Bratton © 2014

40th Birthday Poems brings you material for cards, speeches to help the celebrant mark this milestone age.

Four decades on, and you’re still ticking
The over-the-hill’s in sight but the bucket's not for kicking
(You continue to give life a whirl
Have a wonderful day, Quadragenarian Birthday Girl)

(Having you around, brings so much joy
Have a wonderful day, Quadragenarian Birthday Boy)

Jon Bratton © 2009


Have a good 'un, young 'un
You'd resent that 2 decades ago
"Young 'un, I'm not a young 'un"
I bet you're happy with it now

Jon Bratton © 2015


What a lot of special wishes
This 40th birthday message brings.
Wishes for a day that's filled
With the very best of things.
And for a year that sees
Your fondest hopes come true.
And every wish is warmly meant
Because it's meant for you.


Its hard to find a greeting,
Nice enough to send to you,
For your special 40th birthday
That the usual ones won't do
But this one seems just perfect,
For it really makes it clear
That you're wished the very best today
But throughout this milestone year!
Happy 40th Birthday


Ah, it's your 40th birthday
And here's what I'm betting
These are the things you've got
Or will, very soon, be getting

The downward force of gravity
Your worst enemy, soon will be
You'll no longer like to sprawl
On the floor to watch TV

You could soon live without sex
But not at all without your specs
You will still pay many bills
By licking envelopes and mailing cheques

Everything’s finally beginning to click
The knee, the neck and elbow
Sleeping over on the couch
Will soon become a so no-no

You'll often look forward to
A very dull night in
All your favourite music will be found
In the (Tesco) (Wal-Mart) bargain bin

Getting lucky will be finding your car
In a crowded parking lot
You’ll have hair in your ears
But on your head, sadly not

You’ll find yourself carrying
An umbrella, in case of rain
And being content to drive sedately
In the inside lane

You’ll start to wear a hat
For warmth and for show
And you’ll tell your pals the same tale

You told them days ago

You’ll be asked for advice from young ‘uns
And you’ll be glad
And you’ll feel twinges in places
You didn’t know you had

Clues that you’re ageing
Will come in fits and starts
You’ll regret certain reversals
Like dry dreams and wet farts

You’ll tell your kids about the olden days
And how little pocket money you got
And they’ll dis all the music
You still think is hot

You’ll take a metal detector to the beach
And “good grass” will be your lawn
And when out past 10.30
You’ll be inclined to yawn

You’ll start to wonder when
Your wild oats turned to shredded wheat
And you’ll be more than willing to take it
When someone offers you their seat

I could go on but I won’t
Go pour yourself a beer
And have a very happy birthday
For it’s all downhill from here

Jon Bratton © 2013


Nothing is too good
For someone like you,
So this comes with love
And with warm wishes, too,
For a wonderful time
Now your 40th landmark is here
And all that is best every day
Of this special milestone year.


Next are long poems which were performed as kissograms. individual verses may be used as stand alone material on a birthday card or you could use 30th50th or 60th Birthday Poems by changing the numbers

There's also more here. This page brings you this poem you could use as a kissogram if, like me, you like to wear a frock every now and again. You don't? So it's just me, then? I wrote this script for my brother and my then wife's joint birthday bash. I hope it inspires you to don bra and knickers and speak in a high pitched voice and I hope my video will encourage you to arrange for better lighting. This was more than a quarter century ago, indeed back, literally, in the dark ages. By the way, I've given up wearing frocks

40th Birthday Poems

My name's Elisa
I'm a special kissogram
And you just behave yourself
I'm a good girl, I am

They wouldn't let me wear my frock
Or even put my hat on
Then they sent me to sit on the knee
Of the naughty Alan Bratton

I've come all the way to the Royal Oak
My God, it's sooo far
So I hope you're pleased to see me
Oh! I can tell you are

They told me to give you
A special birthday hug
Followed by a birthday kiss
And a special Scott punch bug

Let me hold your hand
So I can keep it out of harm
Now let me see what I can see
Through the hairs on your palm

You see, not many people realize
I'm a special fortune teller
I can see you're over 40
But you're still a handsome fella

I can see that you're a union man
You're just the sort I like
But you just behave yourself
Or you'll get yourself a strike

40th Birthday Poems

Oh God, I can see a fire
And a house that's all a wreck
Oh I can see the man from the Pru
And he's handing you a cheque

I'm glad you've got insurance
Coz you've set my heart on fire
And I can see your big endowment
And your premium's getting higher

And I can see that you love curling
Well, that's something we can share
You can pop round to my place
And do something with my hair

Ah yes, I can see you have a sister
Who's dear to your heart
No, I'm wrong, it's your brother
Dressed up like a tart

I can see it's your sister-in-law
Elizabeth by name
Oh and it's her birthday
Oh dear, what a shame

You're getting all the attention
And it's her birthday too
I think she should have a kissogram
Well, don't you?

Sit down, how are you?
We'll fix you up just fine
I don't suppose you're interested
In a body like mine

I can see you're not interested
That was just my little joke
You need a change from your transvestite hubby
You need a great big macho bloke

All tall and dark and handsome
Who will sweep you off your feet
Well, I've got the very fella
Who I'd like you to meet

Charlie, Charlie

Now it's time for Charlie
And me to go away
But not before we've done our job
We've got this to say

On behalf of all your friends
That's here, and those absent, near and far
We wish you both, the very best
Happy Birthday ! Tata!

Jon Bratton © 1986

© V4C

40th Birthday Poems

Here's another birthday kissogram surprise, this one for a refined lady, who was going about her business in a shop on her 40th birthday. Organized by her husband, a very large gentleman of Norse extraction rushed in and accosted her in the nicest possible way and regaled her with a set of humorous saucy verses, written by yours truly.

But, first

If you came here for conventional 40th birthday poems, here's your options.Click this link
Age Birthday Poems
where you will find some 40th Birthday Poems
or click this link where you will find material suitable for a 40th birthday by simply changing the age. (There is no real difference between a 40th birthday and a 50th or, for that matter a 60th..the sentiments are the same)

50th Birthday Poems

or go to the

Birthday Hub

where you'll find lots more material you could use

loads more 40th Birthday Poems to come

and now this...

Surprise, Surprise (Lesley)
As you see, I'm a Norwegian hock of ham
I've come to say Happy Birthday
I'm your special kissogram

That poncey (Steve Davis)
Might be more to your liking
But that's because you've never had
A brawny randy viking

Now stop it, don't get excited
You know I'd like some more
But I must save myself for pillaging
At the (womens' underwear) shop next door

To entertain you all today
I thought perhaps I'd sing
But I've settled for a birthday raping
Coz that's a Viking's favorite thing

Well, when I said raping
I admit I sort of lied
It'll be more of a birthday gang bang
Coz me lads are all outside

Just how many lads are out there
Now I don't want you to quake
But here's a clue, it's equal to
The candles on your cake

40 randy viking
All eager to be naughty
Well you know that they say (Lesley)
Life begins at 40

Right lads, I've got her
Get ready to do your thing
I think I should warn you
She's a frisky little thing

Jon Bratton 1988

This is just one of many ideas. Of course a kissogram could be ordered from a commercial company but by getting a friend to play the role you get to write personalized verses

40th Birthday Poems Images

There are 30+ pages of birthday material and to see it all you might want to visit the
Birthday Site Map
from 40th Birthday Poems
Because birthdays are the most common need for poems/verses you might want to bookmark the Birthday Site Map

If you fancy a right good browse round this massive site may I suggest you do it from the
where you'll find all the navigation buttons. Pour yourself something refreshing and browse to your heart's content

write for the occasion

If you came from the Special Birthdays Poems page here's your way back
That's all from 40th Birthday Poems

40th Birthday Poems write for the occasion

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you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week) 


write for the occasion 

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