Jon Bratton's

30th Birthday Poems

but, first...

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

30th Birthday Poems

30 is the lowest big 0 birthday
And not thought of as being ‘old’
Youthfully challenged, yes of course
But still beautiful and bold

© V4C

Three decades on, and you’re still ticking
The over-the-hill’s in sight but the bucket’s not for kicking
(You continue to give life a whirl
Have a wonderful day, Tricenarian Birthday Girl)
(Having you around, brings so much joy
Have a wonderful day, Tricenarian Birthday Boy)

Who’s now in the fast lane to becoming a Quadragenarian

Jon Bratton © 2009

© V4C

This page has loads of verses, which you can cherry pick for a card or whatever or you can weave the whole lot into a birthday speech, toast or roasting and if you decide on a roasting get more verses for a roasting speech 

Be eccentric now.
Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
Do it now
Happy 30th

© V4C

You may be thirty, but you'll always be flirty.
Well, not always, obviously
You can hardly be flirty when you're old
42, say

May your 30th be your flirtiest, mirthiest and dirtiest
And may you never be 42, say

© V4C

Oh no, say it isn't so
30, already, already
But don't panic, there's two billion more seconds
Before you'll be deady
But enjoy the 86,400 seconds in today

© V4C

These compliments are the calm before the storm
This is the mild mannered part
But (Jonathan) face it, there are early signs
That you're beginning to fall apart

The aging process is well under way
In dog years, you’re already dead
You’re beginning to be too sexy for your hair
How long before it’s not there…on your head?

Oh you’ve still got the body of a god
But here’s a thought to make you shudder
You might think you’re now like Zeus
But how long before it’s Buddha?

Even now you’re slowing down
You’re not as fit as you were, we bet
We reckon now that pushing your luck
Is the most exercise you get

Funny 30th Birthday Poems to stand alone or combined to form a speech

You’re not over the hill but the hill’s in sight
You’ve noticed the path’s getting steep
Sometimes, nowadays, you wake up grumpy
But often as not, you let her sleep

Yes, that hill the old folk are over,
You'll soon have to negotiate
Wrinkling and sagging will begin to appear
At a seemingly alarming rate

You'll soon be needing (a pair of) (stronger) specs
For your rapidly fading eyes
Already your supply of brain cells
Is down to a manageable size.

Just as you start to get the hang of it
You'll lose interest in sex
And your arms will become too short to read
You'll need extra specs

On vacation you'll find your energy
Will run out before your money
And should you knock your elbow
You'll find your bone's no longer funny

Compliments you'll give will be few
And complaints you'll make, will be many
Your socks will appear wrinkled
When you're not wearing any

30th Birthday Poems

not done's more 30th Birthday Poems

Funny 30th Birthday Poems to stand alone or combined to form a speech

You'll find that what doesn't hurt, doesn't work
And that the pharmacist becomes your best friend
Your slow old fart-like driving
Will drive youthful others round the bend

You'll look for ages for your glasses
And they’ll be on the top of your head
You'll start to read the obits
Before getting out of bed

But hey look on the bright side
Things you buy then won't wear out
"Come upstairs and make love" the wife will cry
“I can't do both!" you’ll hear yourself shout

Even when you're not eating cereal
You'll hear snap, crackle, pop
And when you’ve just put on your running shoes
You'll feel the need to stop

You'll start getting breathless
Walking down a flight of stairs.
And you'll feel like the morning after,
When you haven't been anywheres

Funny 30th Birthday Poems to stand alone or combined to form a speech

Bending down will be harder than it used to be
You'll go red and wheeze
You'll think if God had wanted you to touch your toes
He’d have put them on your knees.

How long before your wedding tackle
Stops standing up to watch you shave?
How long before when out with the boys
You find it easier to just behave

Your nose and ears will have more hair
Than what’s on your head
You'll go check about your dodgy memory
Then forget what the doctor said

You’ll start to like accordion music
And grow vegetables for a prize
You'll throw a party at your house
And the neighbours won't realize

You'll struggle to untangle yourself
When your legs are crossed
You'll often say “nowadays”… then tell folk
What a loaf of bread used to cost

You'll have heated arguments about pension plans
And play dominoes in the bar
You'll light the candles on your birthday cake,
And a circle of campers will sing "Kumbaya."

Funny 30th Birthday Poems to stand alone or combined to form a speech

We knew you’d find this depressing
But we did it anyway, what the heck
We’re your friends, it’s our duty
To provide a reality check

But enough, we should end here
No more should be said
We’re conscious that at your age
It’ll soon be time for bed

A very happy birthday (Jonathan)
We’ve stretched the truth, nay, we’ve lied
We couldn’t have insulted you any more
But believe us mate, we tried

In Roman numerals you're now XXX
So... Xuberantly you must go
Xperiencing the coming Xcellent years
Before you reach the Big Four-O

You’re hurtling towards that big Forty
When life begins they say
But for now, act like a 30 year old
Have a happy, irresponsible day

Jon Bratton © 2007 

© V4C

More 30th Birthday Poems Material that you might use 

There are more than 30 pages of birthday material and to see it all you might want to visit the
Birthday Site Map
Because birthdays are the most common need for poems/verses you might want to bookmark the Birthday Site Map

If you fancy a right good browse round this massive site may I suggest you do it from the
where you'll find all the navigation buttons. Pour yourself something refreshing and browse to your heart's content

30th Birthday Poems Images

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