Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes, Amusing Sayings, Humorous Messages, Phunny Phrases

You think you’re special
Just because it’s your birthday today
No way is what I say
Coz to me you’re special every day

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

People who have the most birthdays live the longest.
Some wise man once said
So keep clockin ‘em up
Coz without them, you’re dead

Now don’t you feel much better
About today being your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope said that
So...get “Forever Young” tattooed on your belly
Do it now...while it’s smooth and flat

Have a great birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

"Laugh while you still have teeth!"
When they’re no more, you can still smile on
And just reach for the magnifying glass
When the eyes have gone
But for now
Party Hearty
Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

People give birthday gifts to unwrap,
Is why, I suspect, you don’t like birthdays any more
Well, relax, my friend, for I have saved you
From that tedious chore

Have a good one

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Age is something that doesn’t matter,
Unless you are a cheese.
And the fact that you feel tired all the time
And you have a chest that’s inclined to wheeze

Happy Birthday
My Ageless Friend

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

With age comes wisdom.
And boy, does it show
My birthday message is etched on your face
“You're one of the wisest people I know!”

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“No wise man ever wished to be younger.”
Said Jonathan Swift, who was a bit of a swot
“Don’t wish younger, act it,” says me,
Till you haven’t, use what you’ve got,”

Have a good ‘un, my young friend of old

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“You know you're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it”
Well tough titty
Here’s a reality check
You’ve grown old, so now grow up
But hey, buddy
Have a fantastic birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny Birthday Quotes
© V4C

One more year of existence down the drain.
Aint that very true
And you would have just loved the gift
I didn't bother getting you.
Because life’s too short
For opening packages
When there’s bottles craving your attention
Party Hearty

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late.”
Said the late Pablo Picasso
Fortunately, you’re just (37) today
So get started getting young

Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C
Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“You're not (42), you're eighteen
With (24) years experience’.
Said someone unknown
Total Bullshit, you are (42)!!
So, get on the phone
Party hearty
From now, until...

You expire and de-party

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

May you live to be 100
And may the last voice you hear be mine.
Said Frank Sinatra
Imbibing a vat of wine
Be Frank today
Happy Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.
Said Maurice Chevalier, the French crooner
Live long, but ...with dementia and in pain
Or go for broke..and..but.....die sooner
Today’s your birthday
So go mental
(It’ll be good Alzeimic practice)

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C
Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”
Said boring George Bernard Shaw
Stay young forever, then slide majestically into death
Screaming “More, More, Encore, Bloody More”

But for today, just chill, and enjoy your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed”,
Said Charles Schulz, pessimistically
Picking up speed is good..adrenalin is good
For the heart says I, optimistically
Have a great birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny Birthday Quotes

“The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.”
Once said Oscar Wilde
But then he said almost everything
He was such a Wilde child
Act like Oscar
And win one, today, on your birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar,
but the best improve with age.
C.E.M. Joad said that
What a sage
Prove the way
Improve today
Birthday Boy

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

“Old age is always 15 years older than you are”
A wise man once said
That way you’ll be 15 years from being old
When you’re dead
So go for it
Party hearty

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny Birthday Quotes
© V4C

Inside every older person is a confused younger person
“What the hell happened”’ (he)(she) muses and guesses
There’s no confusion in your case
It’s just years of abuse and excesses
So, why stop now
Party Hearty, Birthday (Boy)(Girl)

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C
Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

If you haven't yet found the ideal one for you...

This page is the place for sayings and quotes and while we're at it, messages, phrases, greetings and wishes that are funny, on the subject of celebrating a birthday, which are ideal for including in a greetings card or a speech or a sms text message or Google + or Facebook.

Here's what I've done. I've taken the best of the material out there and, in most cases, I've greetified it. Oh yes, it's now a word that's been published right here right now. (That's how Will Shakespeare did it...but not using the internet..obviously.. because he was a Brit and the internet got to the UK later). By 'greetified' I mean I've turned a pithy comment, a truism or a quote into something that you can include on a greetings card or speech

The great comfort you can draw from your current age is that you are now too old to die young

© V4C

You're not old.
You're just a victim of gravity
But today, gurd up your loins and party hearty


© V4C

You’re not getting older. You just collect wrinkles!

© V4C

You know you're old when "getting a little action" means your prune juice is working!


© V4C

You’re too young to be this old!

© V4C


You can’t be over the hill - You can't get up it!


© V4C

So many candles, so little cake

© V4C

It used to be wine, women and song,
Now it's beer, the old lady and TV!


© V4C

You're at that period in life when you'd rather not have a good time than have to get over it.

© V4C
Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Yes you’re over the hill? What? You don't remember any hill?

© V4C

You know you're old...I've seen you getting the same sensation from a rocking chair as you once got from a roller coaster.


© V4C

At your age, you've seen it all, you've heard it all, you've done it all, you just can't remember it all.


© V4C

Happy Birthday but remember this. Don't let an old person crawl into your body!


© V4C

You're not aging, You're marinating!

© V4C

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

© V4C 


You're not old. Mind you, you've just been young a very long time!


© V4C

Your mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

© V4C

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
So be brave today and celebrate with gusto



© V4C

Indulge in your favorite sport today
Hunting for your spectacles
So you can read this card

© V4C

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are
So on your (XXth) birthday I'm too kind to tell you you look young

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Funny Birthday Sayings

On your birthday, don't make up your face
Make up your mind...
..to be young

© V4C

Don't get grumpy
As your teeth want to fall out, this is no time to be biting

© V4C

Here's a birthday thought for you
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age
So, make whoopee, today

© V4C

Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up

© V4C

On your birthday act like you believe in YOHO...You're Only Here Once

© V4C

It's your birthday so go wild
Don't floss before bedtime

© V4C

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

© V4C

Enjoy this brief interval between birth and death
Particularly today
Happy Birthday

© V4C

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Funny Birthday Sayings

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

© V4C

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

© V4C

Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

© V4C

Look on the bright side.
In dog years, you'd be dead.

© V4C

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

© V4C

Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?

© V4C

Smart, brilliant, beautiful, charismatic, all these qualities God has given me and that is why I gift myself to you on this occasion of your birthday. Just kidding, Happy Birthday.

© V4C

I have been 25 since I was 25

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Funny Birthday Sayings

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

© V4C

I doubt wrinkled was not one of the things you wanted to be when you grew up!


© V4C

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

© V4C

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

© V4C

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Funny Birthday Sayings

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

© V4C

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

© V4C

The secret to staying young is to find an age you really like and stick with it.


© V4C

You're at the age when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy!


© V4C

Middle age is having the choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

© V4C

Middle age is a period of life when one can do as much as ever but would rather not.

© V4C

You know you are old when your doctor is the same age as your grandson.


© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

The older you get, the better you used to be.

© V4C 


You know you're old when your youngest starts collecting Social Security.


© V4C

You know you are getting old 
when you tend to repeat yourself.

You know you are getting old 
when you tend to repeat yourself.


© V4C

Young at heart, slightly older in other places!


© V4C

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Don't think of yourself as getting older . . . You are, of course, but it's best not to think of it!
Happy Birthday!



Here's the rest of my funny birthday stuff. For the milestone special birthdays ending in 0, I suggest you check out the Birthday Hub Page (Site Map)

Birthday Wishes Funny

Funny Birthday Messages

Unique Birthday Wishes


Birthday Hub Page (Site Map)

Or, go to
Birthday Main Page
from Funny Birthday Quotes

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