Jon Bratton's

What to Write in Birthday Cards

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Welcome to What to Write in Birthday cards. We got funny ones, poignant and thought provoking ones..oh and funny ones as well as intellectual ones that are funny

Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.

© V4C 



Happy Birthday. My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction.

© V4C 



I have lots of birthday verses and poems on this website but this web page concentrates on one-liners, the things you might want to hand-write, particularly for the special milestone birthdays..30th, 40th, 50th, 60th. That's not to say that I haven't written poems. I have, based on pithy and inspirational quotes so that they become unique and appropriate for birthday messages. I hope you find something useful here, and if not, go to my other pages of birthday card messages entitled 
Unique Birthday Wishes
and
Free Birthday Sayings
 

 




Here’s a tip for you on your birthday. To prevent sagging just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

© V4C

At another year
You'd probably not boggle
But, if you're like me, when you jog
You joggle.

Based on an Ogden Nash poem

© V4C

On your birthday, I don't wish you to be on top of the World. 
Coz, frankly, it's a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere
Happy birthday, right here

© V4C

All the best birthday wishes
Come with hugs and smacky kisses

© V4C

It’s great that, at your age, you still follow fashion. But face it, you’re never going to catch up.

© V4C

Don't you be eating health foods
At your age you need all the preservatives you can get

© V4C
What to Write in Birthday Cards 

Don't mind the gray in your hair
Just think of all the fun you had puttin' it there 

© V4C

Don't let ageing get you down - it's too hard to get back up.

© V4C

When we're together or when we're apart, you're first in my thoughts and first in my heart. Have a lovely birthday

© V4C

When you're happy, I'm happy. When you're sad, I'm sad. When you're lonely, call me! Meantime, have a smashin' birthday

© V4C

I expect your memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, I suspect your memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

© V4C





What to Write in Birthday Cards?
Here's more funny stuff

Happy Birthday. Hope you have a good 'un.

What to Write in Birthday Cards? Funny, poignant, thoughtful

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes

© V4C

As old Bill Shakespeare said of someone your age
"You've been blasted with antiquity"
OK, it's an insult but hey, it's by the Bard

© V4C

I expect you’re like me these days... about half the stuff in your shopping cart says, "For fast relief." 

© V4C
What to Write in Birthday Cards

Happy Birthday and remember: The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

© V4C

Happy Birthday and remember, as the Chinese say: You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair (added extra) Remember hair!

© V4C

Happy Birthday and remember: We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

What to Write in Birthday Cards?

Happy Birthday and remember: Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending

© V4C



Despite your advancing years you’ve still got it, but face it, nobody wants to see it.

© V4C

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one.

© V4C

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

© V4C
What to Write in Birthday Cards

Happy Birthday and remember: The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.

© V4C






On your birthday, don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

© V4C

Happy Birthday and remember: The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.

© V4C

Happy Birthday and remember: Even if you are on the right track, you'll still get run over if you just sit there.

© V4C

Happy Birthday and remember: If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way

write to right in birthday cards
©V4C

You may be very very old but you can still have the body of a 21 year old - as long as you buy him a few drinks first.



© V4C

What to Write in Birthday Cards





On your birthday have you considered that you might have reached your sexpiration date.

© V4C



The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. 
The bad news is they have to squat down first.

© V4C 



Happy Birthday: May brooks and trees and singing hills
Join in the chorus too,
And every gentle wind that blows
Send happiness to you.

Irish Blessing

© V4C 


What to Write that's funny in Birthday Cards?

May you live as long as you want to, 

And want to as long as you live.

May you forgive me for the present

Or the money I didn’t give


© V4C 



Here’s your birthday message

It may surprise yer

You’re another year older

Yet not a jot wiser

© V4C 



A professor spoke to me

In animated tones.

His team of scientists want to 

Carbon date your bones


Let them, you’ve lied so long about your age

You could do with a refresher

Have a great birthday

© V4C 


What to Write in Birthday Cards

Another birthday milestone? 

But I’m wondering which?

Never mind, take it like a woman 

Just eat chocolate and bitch

© V4C 



Old age is like (a) (your) cat

Against which you must brace

One morning you wake up 

And it’s all over your face.

© V4C 



At Middle Age you’ll have symptoms

Where you once had emotions

Stock up well on anti wrinkle

Creams, pills and lotions


And today, stiff drinks

Happy Birthday


© V4C 


What to Write in Birthday Cards?

Youth is a disease 

From which we all recover

From today it’s onwards and upwards

With the wisdom you’ll discover


Party hearty today

Get wise tomorrow


© V4C 



You know you're getting old 
when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.

Doh! Trust me eh?

What am I like?

how to write right ©V4C in birthday cards to be funny



To know how to grow old 
is the master work of wisdom, 
and one of the most difficult chapters 
in the great art of living

© V4C 



29 until further notice?

© V4C 



Just heard how old you are.

I'm so, so sorry.

© V4C 




If you scored points for having birthdays, 

You'd be winning, honey

You’re at the age where sarcastic friends

Are better than gifts or money

I do hope!

© V4C 



Laughter lines you say? 

Well something must have been hilarious.

© V4C 



How many F's in "present"? 

That's right, No F'in present.

© V4C
What to Write in Birthday Cards? 



With age comes wisdom

They do surmise

And goodness knows

You’re very wise

© V4C 


Here’s a birthday message

To take to heart

We grow too soon old

And too late smart

© V4C 



Here’s your (56th) birthday message

From me, as usual lacking tact

Life is a moderately good play 

With a badly written third act.

© V4C 




(Men)(women) like (Women)(men) 

Who’ve got some sense

So as you pass forty

Drop pretense


© V4C 



Money's tight,

Times are hard,

Here's your friggin
birthday card.

© V4C 



Said the wise Lucy Larcom

Or was she being dumb?

Whatever with the past has gone,

The best is yet to come.


© V4C 



Your birthday is a feather in the broad wing of time.

I knew you'd want to know that on a day like this

© V4C 



You are never too old to set another goal 

Or to dream a new dream

But today concentrate on consuming

Alcohol and things lashed with cream

© V4C 



When you're young anything goes.

When you're old, everything goes.

© V4C 


Here’s a birthday wish

From the wisdom shelf

I’ll lead you not into temptation

You can find it very well yourself

© V4C 



Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, 
there is no cure for it

Chinese proverb

help to write right.. ©V4C ..in birthday cards





On your birthday you can run but you can't hide

You are another year older

© V4C 



When you look in the mirror, 

You don't see wrinkles, it’s true

But that’s only because

Your eyesight’s going too.

© V4C 



You think you're old?

It's not the years in your life that count
It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln said that

I heard him

Happy Birthday young 'un

© V4C 


What to Write in Birthday Cards?

Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you get older it will avoid you.

© V4C 



Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely... and since today is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun, enjoy the trip.

© V4C 



I do hope you consider my gift useful
Today on your 40th birth day
Be sure to read carefully
What the can has to say

Stops squeaks and leaks
And loosens stiff bits
Removes stickiness
And lubes your pits

More Pics re What to Write in Birthday Cards


Middle Age is when your former class mates 

Are so decrepit and frail

In recognising how young you’ve remained

They oh so miserably fail



Happy Birthday. Hope you have a good 'un.

What to Write in Funny Birthday Cards?

 © V4C 



Happy Birthday and remember: Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending

 © V4C 







Young at heart.

Slightly older in other places.

Happy Birthday. Hope you have a good 'un.

What to Write in Birthday Cards?


Happy Birthday and remember: The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

© V4C 



Happy Birthday and remember, as the Chinese say: You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair (added extra) Remember hair!

© V4C 




A professor spoke to me

In animated tones.

His team of scientists want to 

Carbon date your bones


Let them, you’ve lied so long about your age

You could do with a refresher

Have a great birthday

© V4C 

 




help to write right.. © V4C 

 ..in birthday cards




I was trying to think of something,

Don’t think me unkind,

To get you for your birthday.

But nothing came to mind

So here’s a birthday thought

To get you over being upset

The best birthdays of all are those

That haven’t arrived as yet.

Happy Birthday. Hope you have a good 'un.

What to Write Poignant in Birthday Cards?

What to Write Witty in Birthday Cards?



You're at an age when you've finally 

Got your head together 

But your body's falling apart

And feeling under the weather

© V4C 



Life ain’t easy

Said a wise old sage

The only thing we get without effort

Is reaching old age.

© V4C 



Old Age, for all medical advances,

Comes at a bad time, for sure

And for the common birthday,

There’s still no known cure

© V4C 



Another year older

Feeling a stronger, wiser dude

Sexier, inclined to dream

And prone to self delude

 © V4C 



Forget the past, you can't change it.

Forget the present, I didn't get you one

© V4C 



Birthdays tell us
To eat more cakes

It’s for you, another year,
And another place....that aches.

© V4C 



Wrinkles merely indicate

Where smiles have been

That you’ve had a smiley life

Can be oh so clearly seen



© V4C 



Time and Tide wait for no man, 

Said a wise old sage

But time always stands still 

For a woman of your age

© V4C 



We could correct all our mistakes.

By a wise man I was told

If we could be twice young

And, of course, twice old 



© V4C 



The people who have more birthdays
Live so much longer, true.

Therefore it shows that statistically,

Birthdays are good for you.


© V4C 



Old age is like a plane flying through a storm.
Once you are aboard
there is nothing you can do about it.

Golda Meir

write right.. © V4C 

 ..in birthday cards 



© V4C 


What to Write in Birthday Cards

For oodles more
Birthday One-Liners

There are 30+ pages of birthday material and to see it all you might want to visit the 

Birthday Site Map
Because birthdays are the most common need for poems/verses you might want to bookmark the Birthday Site Map
 

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you are free to use these verses, poems and quotes without asking permission and this includes Craft Card Makers who sell cards on a semi commercial basis (ie sales of not more than 50 cards per week) 

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write for the occasion 
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