Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

but, first...
Welcome
Everyone

I've been writing verses
For 60 years...phew!
And d'yer know why I did it?
T'was especially for you

Jon Bratton

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

If you remove all the wisdom and experience in the world of people over 50 then there wouldn't be enough left to run it

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Your wild oats have turned to porridge.
Happy 50th Birthday

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At 50, you probably get muddled 
I'm the same, that's how I know 
If you ever get lost, don't worry 
Just change where you want to go 

Jon Bratton 2010

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Of late I appear 
To have reached that stage
 When people who look old 
Are only my age 

Richard Armour

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At 50 you now have realized
 Getting old isn't fair 
And that it's hard to make a comeback
 When you haven't gone anywhere 
Jon Bratton

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Happy Half Way to a Hundred

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You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long.

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You're not getting older, you're getting better.

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The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune. Happy Birthday to the one on the fiddle

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You've accumulated the knowledge of 50 years on this planet. Now if only the senility hadn't wiped it all away.

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There are numerous advantages to being fifty. Just ask any 80 year old.

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Unfortunately ageing is the only scientifically known way to living longer.

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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Before I turned 50 I used to jog 6 miles a day... now I know a short cut

Youth is a work of nature, but age is a work of art! Congratulations on your second childhood! Happy 50th Birthday!

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Ogden Nash

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Fifty! Now is the time to make your mark on the world – explore the Antarctic or become an astronaut. Make your mind up to take on exciting new challenges - straight after your afternoon nap.

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Today, on your 50th birthday be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.

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Happy 50th Birthday. My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction.

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Just like fine wine, you grow better with the years! Happy 50th Birthday!

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Nature gives you the face you have at 20, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. 
Coco Chanel

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Mark Twain said "The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up" So, as it's your 50th birthday
The very best of cheers to you
Truthfully, I'm just being selfish
Coz now I am so cheerful, too
Happy, Cheerful Birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

The trouble with our age is that it is all signpost and no destination.
Louis Kronenberger

Let's crack open a bottle of prune juice.

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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

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Goodness me are you really 50?  
And yet you're still really quite nifty. 
 Suppose now you'll have to be  
Staid and refined, not unlike me  
So when, if ever, we go out downtown 
 Who'll get the job of playing the clown?  
 I guess not us, we'll be toeing the line. 
  We'll leave that to the youngsters, still 49. 

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If you cannot do great things at 50, do small things in a great way.

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Looking 50 is great... if you're 60

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You still seem to have a full deck, but perhaps you shuffle a bit slower.

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I can't believe you're fifty, 49 perhaps but not fifty.

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Hi ho, Hi ho, it's over the hill you go!

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After you're 50 if it doesn't hurt it probably doesn't work.

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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

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Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

I can’t believe you’re 50; 49 maybe, but never 50!

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The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down

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Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

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50 years old, 18,250 days young

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When you are young, you think about dates, when you are old, you think about prunes!

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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

At 50 you are the oldest you have ever been, but you are the youngest you will ever be again.

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Look on the bright side, when you buy stuff you don't have to pay extra to get a long guarantee

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Classy, Sassy, Nifty, Fifty!

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It’s better to be over the hill than to buried under it.

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For 50, you look great! Of course I don’t have my glasses on.

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Happy 50th Birthday! You're not getting older...just more distinguished!

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One of the great things about getting older is the accumulating sensation of life's perspective broadening all the time.

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OMG U R 50

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You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

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Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns to be amused rather than shocked.

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. George Burns

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God grant me the senility To forget the people I never liked, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference.

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It is often said that With Age Comes Wisdom and you're One Of The Wisest People I Know!

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I like spring, but it is too young.  I like summer, but it is too proud.  So I like best of all autumn, because its tone is mellower, its colors are richer, and it is tinged with a little sorrow. Its golden richness speaks not of the innocence of spring, nor the power of summer, but of the mellowness and kindly wisdom of approaching age. It knows the limitations of life and its content.  Lin Yü-tang

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

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Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely... and since today is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun, enjoy the trip.

© V4C

You still look 21… from a distance.

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents and only one for birthday presents, you know." This Lewis Carroll quotation is invaluable and is my birthday present to you

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She’s hot, she’s cold. 
She’s fifty years old.

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Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th birthday

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You've accumulated the knowledge of 50 years on this planet, now if only the senility hadn't wiped it all away.

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th birthday!  

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Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. From now, it will avoid you.

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There are numerous advantages to being fifty. Just ask any 80 year old.  

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Now that you're 50, if it hasn't already happened, trust me it will. Your ears WILL become hairier than your head. And on that thought, Happy Birthday

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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Of late you appear to have reached that stage When people who look old are only your age.

© V4C

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

© V4C Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

You’re a classic, you only get better with age!

© V4C

Now that you're 50 may I ask. Have you yet started to wear black socks with sandals?

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A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it’s because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.Happy 50th and look forward to at least 40 years more if you sleep rather than worry

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Happy 50th Birthday and let me warn you. It's only a matter of time before you take a metal detector to the beach.

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It's your 50th birthday after all so do make the effort today on this issue. You do not have to try to hold your stomach in, when someone walks into the room.

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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

On your 50th birthday I do hope it hasn't already started. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

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As a trendy all your life let me break this to you gently, on this your 50th anniversary on this planet. Any time soon you will find yourself singing along with the elevator music.

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Live out of your imagination instead of out of your memory.

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You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

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When you are younger you are blamed for crimes you never committed, and when you're older you get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out. I. F. Stone

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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

It's now the time to pass on Lucille Ball's view that the secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

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You're at the age when your back will go out more than you do.

© V4C

I expect that, at 50, inside you now is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

© V4C

Life begins at 40 - as well as fallen arches, rheumatism, sight and hearing loss And telling the same story three or four times a night. Happy Birthday and remember that life begins at 40 As well as failing memory, joints, hearing and sight Oh, and Happy Birthday  You’re fort...no, no, you're fifty aren’t you? Oh well, you'll know that already

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

Middle age: Later than you think, and sooner than you expected.Happy 50th

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“It is a rare and difficult attainment to grow old gracefully and happily”  Some wise person once said I say you’ve had 50 years out of 100 So you’re only half dead

Therefore party hearty  Happy 40th, good buddy

Jon Bratton 2012 

© V4C

You have now reached the big Five-0 Time to be an altogether different kind  Cantankerous, Outspoken and Outrageous  Spring readily to mind

In whichever way Enjoy your 50th birthday

Jon Bratton 2012

© V4C

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Happy? (am I kidding) Birthday

© V4C

From Funny 50th Birthday Quotes to Poems, Funny and 50th

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Birthday Site Map
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Funny 50th Birthday Quotes Book

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