You're not the boss of me

by Joe Hanson
(Hull, UK)

Youre Not The Boss Of Me
For Kat

Do this, do that, you smoke too much, so stop.
You've stopped, good, but now you're fat, some weight you need to drop.

I want to go shopping, I want you to come, no, you're not going to play PS3.
I have a bill, and you it will drill, Jose, you are coming with me.

You drink too much, you're an alcoholic, so I'm sulking and that is your loss.
Give it a rest, with your test after test, you're acting just like you're my boss.

I love you, J'taime like, so many things about you are so good!
Horny sex, deepest love, I wouldn't change you if I could!

You pecked about this, pecked about that, and quite plainly just do not see.
You can say what you like, and I'll still love you, but you're not the boss of me!

Webmaster says: You're a brave man, Joe. You've inspired me to write this which is an old joke put to rhyme

A meek husband is advised by his shrink
Don't act like a frightened mouse
Go home and assert yourself more
Show her you're the boss of the house

He rushes home, walks in and slams the door,
Tells his wife her treatment of him is a disgrace
"From now on, you're taking orders from me"
He shouts, while shaking his fist in her face

"I want my supper right now, lady
And then go upstairs, and lay out my best gear
Tonight, I'm going out with the boys,
While you stay where you belong. Here!!

And guess who's going to comb my hair,
Give me a shave, and polish my shoes like new"

His wife replies very firmly and calmly,
"The undertaker, my dear, that's who"

Jon Bratton 2011

And for the sake of balance here's a quote from Maxine, a feisty Hallmark Cards character

Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.

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Youre Not The Boss Of Me