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Welcome to our?Card Making?Funnies?Page about Craft/Card Makers Quirks, Idiosyncrasies, Characteristics, Traits, Habits, Foibles, Mannerisms, Pecularities which comes to you sponsored by
?????????????? Imag-e-nation -?The Home of??Card Making
If you are a Crafter/ Individual?you are free to use these?funnies without asking permission of the writer
but note copyright law applies to
* ?the body of work in parts and as a whole
?* individual pieces so far as commercial companies?are concerned?
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The following "ditties", prayers, sayings etc have been gathered together by Imag-e-nationers, some taken from other websites, some specially written. It is our belief that all of these can be regarded as being in the public domain and free of copyright.
If anyone feels their work has been used without permission, please say and we will take the requested action.
To visit the source of this mirth CLICK HERE
?"I'm having a CRAFT moment"
Can't Remember A Flippin' Thing
Submitted by Jon?
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To craft or not to craft, that is the question:
To layer, perchance to mat,
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to decoupage
or embellish,
To trim, perhaps to weep to wet the mulberry,
Spirelli or spin, or seal, or stick,
Or stamp and emboss,
aye there's always the rub (on transfer)
Or simply dust.
Apologies to WS.
Written by Gillyg
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1.I will not stuff craft supplies in every corner of my house
2.I will not keep 9 projects going at one time
3.I will not pick up more buttons,lace or fabric when I have a ton at home
4.I will not let my crafting area look like a condemmed area.
5.I will not relegate the kitchen table to crafts.
6.I will not attend craft shows just to get more ideas.
7.I will not stock up on more craft supplies just because they are on sale.
8.I will not go off on a tangent when anyone mentions that little word 'import'
9.I will not let my crafting distract me from fixing dinner.
10.I will not stay up all night crafting.
11.I will not save dryer lint,empty cereal boxes,detergent scoops etc.
12.I will not buy every craft magazine I see.
13.I will not make promises I cannot keep...see you at a craft show
Submitted by Jo
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Crafts are here, crafts are there.
My craft supplies are everywhere.
I really should clean this mess,
But I like it, I? must confess.
Floor is littered, chairs are piled,
Kitchen?s looking pretty wild.
On the table counter too,
Seems that any place will do.
Hall is stacked with cartons high,
Filled with things folks like to buy.
Garage is full, but so far ?
There?s still room to park the car.
I never have an idle day,
New ideas come my way.
Don?t know yet what I?ll create,
But at least my imagenation?s great.
My family smiles, they don?t complain,
Although at times I am a pain.
But when all is said and done,
I really am a crafty one !!
Source unknown
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Crafts forever - housework ........... whenever!!
Submitted by Peejay?
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I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed
My dishes aren't done, and the house is a mess
Have not done my work, or fed the cat
Just on line for a second, and popped into chat!
Theres so much to say, so much crafting to do
I'm sitting here now with glitter, scissors and glue
But O'dear me, i'm finding it hard
When all I need is to make my next card.....
I know tomorrow, I'll make a fresh start...........
Just You wait till you see My New Work of Art!!!!!!
Written by Joanie
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If crafting is a petty crime
I will soon be doing time
If crafting is against the law
I'll do time forever more
I sit and craft from morn 'til night,
my family do despair,
but armed with heat gun, ink pads too,
I really just don't care
The more I see, the more I want,
I cannot see an end,
to sticky pads and funky foam,
I have to spend, spend, spend
I made a candle, just last week,
it turned out quite a mess,
I think I'll stick to making cards,
coz that's what I do best
Written by?Karla
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She learned to stamp on Monday
her embossing was quite fine.
She forgot to set out dinner....
so away out we went to dine.
She brayered backgrounds Tuesday
she says they are a must....
they really are quite lovely
but there was no time to dust.
On Wednesday it was birthday cards
she claims that chalking's fun
shading, blending and water-colouring
but the laundry wasn't done.
Her card swap was on Thursday
she had to use green, blue and red,
it was obvious she was really engrossed
when she failed to make the bed.
It was Shaker cards on Friday
using techniques that she just adores,
what a pity she then failed to notice
the crumbs dropped all over the floors.
I found a maid on Saturday!
My week is now complete
my wife can stamp her hours away
and the house will still be neat.
Well, already it is Sunday
and my forehead's feeling damp
cos I've cursed, and raved and ranted
for the Maid has learned to stamp!!
Submitted by Jane
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The Obsessed Crafter
I started out with just one topper,
and then I bought some more.
I decided that a shoebox would make
an ideal store.
Then as I added inks & pens,
my craft collection grew.
So I bought a roomy plastic crate,
it would last for years, I knew.
Embossing then became my thing,
with powder & a heat gun.
Metallics, tinsels, pearls & clear,
I soon had everyone.
By now my lovely plastic crate
was spilling everywhere.
And my glitter glue collection
lay scattered on a chair.
My husband started muttering
& said things had to stop.
So I bought a huge old wardrobe
at the local charity shop.
But after a while,
I couldn't shut the door.
And I put shelves in the spare room
to accomodate yet more.
Our house is now for sale,
something larger being sought.
By the way, did I show you,
The latest stamp I bought!
Submitted by Jane
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Reasons for being a card maker
1) It helps keep the economy going. It is one's duty to support cardcraft manufacturers, timber/paper mills, craft shops and internet sites.
2) It is less expensive and more fun that psychiatric care.
3) It's participation in a contest- The one who dies with the most unused peel offs, toppers etc, wins.
4) Craft bits keep without refrigeration, you don't have to cook them to enjoy them, you never have to feed them, change them, wipe their noses or walk them.
5) It's not immoral, illegal, or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes one feel good.
6) It makes good use of your imag-e-nation
If people say you?re stuck up
They mean you've spilt the glue
If they remark on your sparkling personality
You've spilt the glitter too
You would go and make a cuppa
If you could only see the floor
Trying manoevre round the obstacle course
You think?what is it for
Well, it?s for the joy?of others
When your card comes?in the post
And it never seems like hard work
For you enjoy it the most
Submitted by several?Imag-e-nationers?
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A Craftaholic?s Prayer
Dear Lord,
I?m going to need some notice
Before my days are done.
You see, I?m a craftaholic.
A fact not known to some.
My craft room, it is bulging
All corners, crannies and nooks
There's loads of boxes under the bed,
I hope no one ever looks
I tell myself when shopping,
?No more craft bits today,?
But the craft shops are like magnets
Drawing me their way.
I?m totally at their mercy
Just "need" a dozen of each.
Then I hurry home to hide them
Before the family starts to preach.
So Lord, I?ll need a little time
To dispose of all this stuff.
And Lord, can we just keep all of this,
Between the two of us
Submitted by Liz
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A dusty home is mind over matter...
If I don't mind,
it shouldn't matter
Submitted by Karla
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An Exchange of Views
As a new-ish card maker I wonder if there are any rules as to the thickness of dust I should let accumulate before I stop crafting and start cleaning?
Just let it settle for a month, then you will never need to dust again, as at this point you don't notice it,and it seems to dust itself.
I hoover when my grandson starts to eat the paper off the floor!!!!
You cannot possibly move that dust; after all the particles would only settle on the glue, cards, inkpads, embellishments,etc.et. Just leave it, with any luck it will get infused with glitter, and you will be able to scoop it up and use it.
Dust? What's that? My furniture has different hues of colour depending on how the light is, sunny, overcast - sometimes it's a lighter shade of pale........
As for hubby noticement - if he does, do what he does and go selectively deaf and blind. He'll soon give up!!
Actually if you just let the windows go there is little chance of enough light entering to show up anything untoward at all. You just need to have focused light on your craft table, of course you can't eat at table because there isn't room so it's tray on knee by tele-light and as long as you keep the kitchen and bathroom relatively tidy...who's to notice.
What is dust? I have been so busy card making for the past 3 months I can't remember what it is. No doubt i will soon remember if the in-laws come to visit!!!
Dust is a "Protective Cover for Furniture"
Under no circumstances should you remove it.....
Oh it really makes me feel better to know you all love dust as much as me. The rest of my inlaws are super tidy and make me feel scruffy, but give me crafting rather than dusting anyday. Pity I don't have one of those husbands who doesn't notice!
Of course there's always those sayings 'Get a life' or 'I have a life' and after all, dust will still be around long after us so why worry about it?
As they say in the good book - We pass this way only once - The next person along can do the dusting
I start to dust when the cats start to sneeze. But do kids need to have diner every day?
Who said women have to dust??????? If other half doesnt like it he can do it himself!
PS What is dust anyway????
The only dust I bother about is the stuff that settles on the monitor, or else I can't see what you lovely people have written to make me laugh.
I've found that if you allow the other half to spend his money on new technological gadgets, then he likes nothing better than dusting to keep them clean.
Thank you so much for all those answers. How wonderful to discover that we are all 'sluts' Sadly there is no hubby now so it is just my conscience that was stirring. It's that spring sunlight, highlighting dust and fingermarks!
Conscience??? What's a conscience? For dealing with spring sunshine see my original posting about windows!
Some of those quotes deserve to be made into fridge magnets! Or car stickers!!
Apologies if you all know the following-but for those who don't=
Dust if you must
But would'nt it be better
to paint a picture,or write a letter,
Make a card,or plant a seed,
Ponder the difference between want and need.
Dust if you must
But there is not time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
Music to hear and books to read,
Friends to cherish and a life to lead.
Dust if you must
But bear in mind
Old age will come and it's not kind,
And when you go,and go you must,
You yourself will make more dust.
Remember, a house becomes a home when you can write " I love you " on the furniture.
That is excellent and echoes what many of us have said here!!
Life is only fleeting so we've got to make the most of it - dust will always be around!! That says it all, I must copy it for future reference
An amusing exchange between Imag-e-nationers on the Forum, appropriately enough, on April Fools Day 2005
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